Depression does not always look like tears, an unwashed face or someone who cannot get out of bed. Very often it looks like a smile in a holiday photo, a selfie in the car before work, or a parent laughing with a toddler. That is the point thousands of people made when they posted ordinary, cheerful-looking pictures of themselves under the hashtag #faceofdepression and explained what they were really going through when the camera clicked.
The tag had been circulating on Instagram and Facebook for months, but it spread far wider in September 2017, during Suicide Prevention Awareness Month in the US. One reason was Talinda Bennington, widow of Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington, who shared family pictures and a video of her husband laughing in the days before he died by suicide on 20 July 2017. Her message was blunt: this is what depression can look like.
Below are 40 of the photos people shared, with a short note on each person's story as they told it. Some are survivors still fighting. Some were posted by relatives of people who did not survive. Together they make a quiet, powerful case for asking a friend how they really are, and listening to the answer.
Why depression can hide behind a smile
Many people with depression keep going to work, look after children, post photos and make jokes. Clinicians sometimes describe this as "high-functioning" or "smiling" depression. It is not a separate diagnosis in the DSM-5; the symptoms usually fall under major depressive disorder. What sets it apart is the mask: low mood, exhaustion, numbness and loss of pleasure are kept out of sight, often because the person fears being a burden, being judged or being told to "cheer up".
That mask has a cost. When nobody can see the illness, nobody thinks to offer help, and the person may delay treatment for years. Several people in this gallery say exactly that: doctors or friends told them they did not "look depressed", so they assumed they were exaggerating.
A common myth is that depression is simply a "chemical imbalance" that can be read in someone's face or fixed with willpower. Current research describes something more complicated. Genes, stress, life events, physical illness, sleep, inflammation and the way the brain processes emotion all seem to play a part, and the old idea of a single serotonin shortage is no longer supported by the evidence. The practical message is simpler: depression is a real illness, it is treatable, and it can affect anyone.
If you are struggling right now
If you or someone you know is in crisis or thinking about suicide, please reach out today. In the US you can call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (the number replaced the old 1-800-273-8255 line in July 2022), or chat online through its official website. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans answer on 116 123. Anywhere else, contact your local emergency number or a doctor. Talking to a doctor about low mood is not overreacting; it is the first step towards treatment that works.
The photos, part one: smiles that hid the struggle
The Instagram account selfloveclubb set two pictures of the same young woman side by side, both labelled with the same word, suicidal: one huddled and bare-faced, one dressed up and glowing. She wrote that a doctor had once told her she did not look suicidal, and that the comment made her feel she was not ill enough to deserve help. The pairing became one of the most widely shared images of the campaign.
Talinda Bennington tweeted this family photo of Chester Bennington, smiling by the water with their children, on 7 September 2017. She wrote that it was taken days before her husband took his own life and that suicidal thoughts were there even though nobody could see them. After his death she founded the 320 Changes Direction campaign to fight the stigma around mental illness.
Monique Holley-Peak shared this bright mirror selfie with a long message about a depressive episode that had crept up on her. She described feeling empty, lonely and exhausted while still being the friend who bakes and does crafts, and said she smiled mostly so others would not worry. She closed by urging anyone suffering to seek help in whatever form works for them.
A beaming girl in a purple party dress with a wrist corsage, posted by Rayna Gawel. Depression is not only an adult illness: studies suggest it can begin in childhood, and younger people are often even better at hiding it. Changes in sleep, school work, appetite or friendships can be early signs worth gently asking about.
The caption on this selfloveclubb post says the photo was taken seven hours before a suicide attempt. The young woman wrote that she had gone for a walk and laughed with her partner that very day, and that her mood could flip within hours. She survived, and later used her story to argue that warning signs can be small, sudden and easy to miss.
Tasha Bernstein Collins shared this snapshot of her son playing with the family bulldog. She said he died by suicide two days later. Posts like hers show why grieving families joined the campaign: they wanted others to know that a relaxed, normal-looking moment is no guarantee that someone is safe.
"Depressed" on the left, "Yup, still depressed" on the right. This before-and-after on selfloveclubb flips the usual format: makeup, a smile and a good hair day did not mean recovery. The accompanying text explains that depression does not have one look, and that kindness costs nothing when you do not know what someone is carrying.
Zoe Vanmeter, pictured with her husband, wrote openly about surviving a suicide attempt, about feeling worthless and like a burden despite a loving family, and about being in therapy and on medication. Her post ends on a hard-won note of hope: she takes life a day, sometimes an hour, at a time. Recovery is rarely a straight line, and her honesty helped many readers feel less alone.
Brittany Schroeder, cheek to cheek with her daughter, pushed back at people who said she had "no reason" to be depressed with a child, or that diet and exercise would fix it. Exercise and sleep do help many people, but they are not a cure on their own. Loving your family and having depression are not opposites.
A happy kayaking trip, posted by Agnieszka Ostrowska. She wrote that the man in the photo was her boyfriend, and that he took his own life two weeks later, leaving her unable to understand why. This image also became the cover of many articles about the hashtag because it captures the gap between appearance and reality so starkly.
Lisa Althoff posted this picture of a young man named Luke, smiling in the sun not long before her family lost him. Her words were short: "Depression is a SERIOUS illness. Don't dismiss people who are hurting." It is one of the clearest reminders in the collection that a smile is not a diagnosis.
Two photos taken 15 minutes apart, at 3pm and 3:15pm, with streaked mascara in the second. The woman behind this selfloveclubb post said she had been trying to take a nice picture with her young son when a panic attack hit. She shared it in May, Mental Health Awareness Month, to show how fast an episode can arrive.
Jessica Woodard Sowards wrote that antidepressants had saved her life, but that she later stopped taking them suddenly because she felt well, and her mood crashed. Stopping medication abruptly can cause withdrawal effects and relapse, which is why changes should always be planned with a doctor. She tagged the post #suicideprevention and #itsoknottobeok.
Stephanie Malanowski-Martin lives with bipolar disorder, mostly on the depressive side. She described putting on full makeup and a fun dress each morning while dealing with depression, anxiety and at times suicidal thoughts. Bipolar disorder is different from depression and is treated differently, so an accurate diagnosis matters.
Amy Kramer posted this smiling photo with her baby while sitting in a doctor's office asking for help. She said most people had no idea she cried in the shower and in the car, or lay awake with panic attacks. Making that appointment is often the hardest and bravest step.
"Worthy of help" and "Still worthy of help", written across two photos posted by my_mh_journey. The author described being turned away because she looked put-together at appointments, and argued that people should not have to look broken to be taken seriously. It is a message aimed squarely at health systems as well as friends.
Another selfloveclubb pairing, both titled "The face of depression": one red-eyed and puffy, one glamorous. The writer described days spent crying on the bathroom floor alternating with days of dancing in the kitchen with her son. Both are true, which is exactly why depression is hard to spot from outside.
A tired face pressed into a pillow, shared by f0reveruam during what she called a breakdown. She wrote that depression is not "pretty sadness" but hopelessness, anger and pushing away the people you love. Irritability is a recognised symptom that is often overlooked, especially in men and teenagers.
Codi Natelli, three weeks after the birth of her second child, holds her sleeping newborn. She lives with major depression and postpartum depression and said seeing a doctor and simply talking about it had started to help. Postpartum depression affects many new mothers and is very treatable; it is not a parenting failure.
Four selfies from the same fortnight, posted by alice_emma_louise. She wrote that she felt worthless and helpless in every one of them, even the ones where she looks bright and confident. Her conclusion: you cannot judge someone's mental health by their best photos.
The photos, part two: parents, partners and survivors
No makeup, dark circles and dim light: scarlett_okera chose to show the side of depression most people never post. She explained that she had slept all day and still felt exhausted. Fatigue that rest does not fix is one of the most common symptoms people report.
A mother and her little boy grin for the camera in this post by the_lip_lounge. Her caption said many of the happiest people she knew were the ones fighting hardest behind the scenes, and that she had finally sought treatment for postpartum depression. She encouraged other parents to do the same without shame.
Jordan Pauline Cain shared this selfie with her daughter and wrote that depression sometimes looks optimistic and sometimes does not. Having a wonderful child, she said, does not erase the feelings or make them less valid. Her daughter, she added, loves her on good days and bad ones.
This woman wrote that she lives with fibromyalgia, arthritis and anxiety, and that the years had been a struggle. Chronic pain and depression often travel together, each making the other harder to bear. Treating both, rather than one at a time, tends to work best.
Dressed up for a friend's birthday dinner, chrissiebm said she barely got through the evening without a panic attack, then came home and cried. Many people describe social events as a performance that leaves them drained afterwards. Saying no sometimes is self-care, not rudeness.
In her second post, chrissiebm said this photo showed her at her saddest and most anxious, hidden under a full face of makeup. She wanted to curl up and disappear but went out anyway. Her hashtag #invisibleillness sums up the whole campaign.
cheerfulchelsea93, despite the cheerful username, posted this red-nosed, tear-stained photo after weeks of insomnia, isolation and crying alone at night. She said she felt pressure to look "together" online. Long spells of poor sleep can both signal and worsen depression, and are worth mentioning to a doctor.
Behind a playful Snapchat filter, rachelmariepete wrote that she had just come through a week in which depression took over and she could barely function. Filters and funny faces are a familiar part of the mask. She signed off with #stayingstrong and a promise to keep going.
Molly Miller took this selfie at her desk, headphones in and plants nearby, in the middle of a depressive episode. Her caption, tagged #LIVEstigmaFREE, challenged the idea that people with depression cannot hold down a job. Many do, often at great personal cost.
Jules Whitney said her symptoms began around age 12, but she was not diagnosed until 25 because doctors told her she did not seem depressed. After her child was born, postpartum depression added to it, along with sleep apnoea and weight gain. Her story shows how long depression can go untreated when it does not match the stereotype.
Smiling under a wide-brimmed hat outside a café with a menu board in Romanian, this woman wrote that she has lived with depression since high school, survived a suicide attempt and has severe agoraphobia. Where she lives, she said, mental illness is often blamed on bad parenting or laziness, so she learned to smile through her worst days. Stigma is still one of the biggest barriers to treatment worldwide.
A young woman cuddles a Cavalier King Charles spaniel. This photo appeared in the original collection without a caption, which is a point in itself: nothing in the picture hints at what she may have been carrying. Pets can be a real comfort, and some research links caring for an animal with routine and companionship.
A bare, unsmiling close-up shared without a caption. Not every #faceofdepression photo was a smile; some participants posted their most unguarded moments to show the exhaustion they usually hide. Both kinds of picture tell the truth.
Sarah Howard has lived with generalised anxiety disorder and depression for about two decades. As a child her nickname was "smiley", and people often praise her positive attitude. That cheerful reputation, she said, does not stop her brain from misfiring.
Sara Louise, with her son, wrote that she has had depression for most of her life and still has days of suicidal thoughts. She rejected the idea that mental illness makes someone an unfit parent, saying her son saves her life every day. She plans to explain her illness to him when he is old enough, so he never blames himself.
A woman smiles while holding a sleepy puppy. Like several others in the series, this picture was shared without words, letting the contrast with the hashtag speak for itself. A friendly face in a photo tells you nothing about the night before.
Bundled up in a knitted hat and scarf, this woman offers a small, steady smile. The photo was part of the same wave of anonymous posts in which people simply added #faceofdepression to an everyday selfie. The message: this is what we look like, so please stop expecting us to look different.
A family shared these as the last photos they have of Jesse, the father of the poster's eldest son, taken on Mother's Day 2012. They believed he was getting better; he died by suicide on 12 June 2012. Periods of apparent improvement can still be risky, which is why ongoing support matters.
A cheerful young woman in a car, wearing red lipstick and a backwards cap. She wrote that the photo was taken about three hours before a severe panic attack that ended in self-harm. If self-harm is part of your life, a doctor or a crisis line can help without judgement.
The final image is a black-and-white portrait of a man with a calm, set expression. His caption is one of the most quoted lines of the campaign: "When you put on your war face but inside is where the battle happens." Men are less likely to talk about depression, which is one reason their posts mattered so much.
How to check on someone who seems fine
The lesson of #faceofdepression is not that everyone who smiles is secretly suffering. It is that you cannot tell from the outside, so it is worth asking. A few things that help:
- Ask directly and privately. "How are you, really?" works better than a quick "you OK?" in passing. Asking someone whether they are thinking about suicide does not put the idea in their head; it gives them permission to talk.
- Listen more than you advise. Skip "but you have so much to live for" or "just exercise more". Several people in this gallery said those comments made them feel worse.
- Notice changes, not looks. Withdrawing from friends, sleeping much more or less, giving away possessions, talking about being a burden or saying goodbye are more meaningful than any facial expression.
- Help with the next step. Offer to sit with them while they call a doctor or a crisis line, and check in again a few days later.
- Look after yourself too. Supporting someone with depression is hard. You do not need to fix it alone.
Depression is common and it is treatable, with talking therapies, medication or a mix of both. If any of these stories sounded familiar, talk to a doctor. You do not have to look sad to deserve help.
Sources: Photos and stories shared by the people credited under each image, via the #faceofdepression hashtag on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter; Wikipedia: Chester Bennington; Stuff: Chester Bennington's widow shares video of him happy hours before death; Wikipedia: Smiling depression; Wikipedia: Monoamine hypothesis; National Institute of Mental Health: Depression; Wikipedia: 988 (telephone number).
Yeah, these pages are so loaded with junk that it's hard to share even when I want to so much because it's valuable.
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