
What does a hug actually do? Quite a lot, according to research. A warm embrace from someone you trust can ease stress, is linked with lower blood pressure, and in one well-known study was associated with a better chance of fighting off a cold. Beyond the measurable effects, many writers and spiritual teachers see the embrace as something deeper: a moment in which the walls between two people briefly fall away.
This article looks at both sides. First, what science can and cannot tell us about hugging. Then, the more personal and spiritual view put forward by the writer Frank M. Wanderer, who describes the embrace as having a "small secret" and a "great secret".
Why touch is a basic human need
Humans are social mammals, and touch is one of the first ways we learn that we are safe. Babies are calmed by being held long before they understand words, and that need for closeness does not disappear in adulthood. When it is missing for long periods, people often describe feeling flat, anxious or disconnected; when it is present, it can make hard times easier to carry.
A hug is one of the simplest and most universal ways to meet that need. It can say "I'm glad you're here", "I'm sorry" or "you're not alone" without a single word, which is why we reach for it at reunions, farewells, funerals and celebrations alike.
What research says about hugging and health
Hugs, stress and catching a cold
In a study published in Psychological Science in December 2014, Sheldon Cohen and colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University followed 404 healthy adults. Over 14 evenings, participants were asked by phone whether they had experienced conflict with others and whether they had been hugged. The researchers then deliberately exposed them to a common cold virus and monitored them in quarantine.
People who felt more supported were less vulnerable to infection linked to the stress of conflict, and hugs accounted for about a third of that protective effect. Among those who did become infected, people who received more hugs tended to have milder symptoms. Cohen suggested that "being hugged by a trusted person may act as an effective means of conveying support."
Oxytocin, blood pressure and heart rate
Hugging is associated with the release of oxytocin, a hormone involved in bonding and trust. A 2005 study led by Kathleen Light found that women who reported more frequent hugs from their partners had higher oxytocin levels and lower blood pressure and heart rate. Research on cortisol, the main stress hormone, suggests that a hug from a partner before a stressful event may soften the stress response, though in one 2022 study this effect was seen in women and not in men.
What the evidence does not show
These studies are encouraging, but they have limits. Many are correlational: people with warm relationships may be healthier for many reasons, not only because of hugs. Popular claims that you need an exact number of hugs per day, or that a hug must last a precise number of seconds, are not firmly established. A hug is not a treatment, and anyone dealing with stress, anxiety or illness should still talk to a doctor.
The "small secret": closeness, safety and trust
Wanderer's "small secret" is the part that research can partly measure. In his view, an embrace builds trust and confidence, eases fear and pain, and helps us recover after stress. It is perhaps the most intimate everyday expression of love, a way of strengthening a bond and feeling that we belong with someone.
He also stresses that hugging is a form of communication. There are feelings that are too large, too tender or too complicated for words, and an embrace can carry them anyway. For a few moments, it can quiet the mind and make the problems around us seem further away.
The "great secret": a doorway beyond the ego
The second part of Wanderer's reflection is spiritual rather than scientific, and is best read as a personal philosophy. He describes the feeling of an embrace as a current of energy running through the body, an energy he identifies with love itself. In that current, he writes, a kind of gateway opens.
His idea draws on a theme found in many contemplative traditions. Our "original" state, as he sees it, is pure consciousness, not yet identified with forms, shapes and roles: a state of oneness filled with love. In everyday life we lose sight of this. We come to believe that the ego, the small and separate self we present to the world, is all that we are.
A genuine embrace, he suggests, can loosen that grip. As we open to another person, our stream of thoughts slows, the ego steps back, and only the present moment remains. In that alert stillness, consciousness may briefly recognise itself. This is the "great secret" he points to, and the reason he encourages readers to use the doorway of an embrace as often as they can.
You do not need to share his metaphysics to recognise the experience he describes. Many people know the feeling of being fully present during a long, heartfelt hug, when the to-do list disappears and nothing exists except the other person.
How to hug well
- Consent matters. A hug is only comforting if both people want it. Ask, or offer open arms and let the other person choose, especially with children, colleagues and people you don't know well.
- Respect cultural norms. In some cultures, and in many traditional communities, hugging between people who are not close family is uncommon. A handshake, a hand on the arm or simply warm words can carry the same care.
- Be present. Put the phone down, breathe, and let the hug last a moment longer than usual.
- Remember other forms of closeness. For people who live alone or dislike touch, time with friends, pets or community groups can also provide connection.
A simple gesture with real weight
Whether you see a hug as a hormone-driven stress buffer, a gesture of love or a glimpse of something larger, its value is easy to feel. It costs nothing, it can be given in seconds, and it reminds two people that they are not alone. That may be the most useful secret of all.
The spiritual reflections above are adapted from Frank M. Wanderer: The Revolution of Consciousness: Deconditioning the Programmed Mind.
Sources: Association for Psychological Science: Hugs may help protect against colds (Cohen et al., 2014); Wikipedia: Hug (Light et al., 2005; Berretz et al., 2022); Frank M. Wanderer, The Revolution of Consciousness, as first shared by The Mind Unleashed.
Related:
COMMENTS