"Many people may give up on you, but you may never give up on yourself." That single line sums up the message of this post and the motivational video below, which has been watched tens of millions of times on YouTube. Persistence is a powerful idea, but it works best when it is paired with kindness towards yourself and a willingness to change the plan. Here is what research says about all three.
About the video
The clip was uploaded to YouTube on 12 March 2010 by the channel harrish0789 under the title "Look At Yourself After Watching This". It runs for just over four minutes, sits in the People & Blogs category and had passed 66 million views when we checked. No speaker, filmmaker or original source is credited on the page, so we cannot confirm who made it. Its staying power says something on its own: short films that urge viewers not to give up have been among the most shared videos on the internet for well over a decade.
What "grit" research shows
The best-known scientific take on perseverance comes from psychologist Angela Duckworth, who defines grit as "perseverance and passion for long-term goals". Her team found that grit scores predicted which cadets stayed on at the US Military Academy at West Point after their first gruelling summer, and that grittier contestants in the National Spelling Bee practised longer and went further.
Later work added important caveats. A 2017 meta-analysis led by Marcus Credé, covering 88 samples and more than 66,000 people, found that grit was only moderately linked to performance and overlapped heavily with conscientiousness, an established personality trait. Of grit's two parts, steady effort mattered more than passion. Critics have also warned that praising grit can overlook real obstacles such as poverty, discrimination or poor schooling.
The practical lesson: keeping going really does help, but it is one ingredient among many, and struggling is not proof that someone lacks character.
Why being kind to yourself helps you keep going
Many people try to push themselves with harsh self-talk. Research on self-compassion suggests a different route. Psychologist Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as three things: treating yourself with warmth when you struggle, remembering that failure and pain are part of every human life, and noticing difficult feelings without either burying or exaggerating them.
Studies summarised by Neff and others link self-compassion with less anxiety, depression and rumination, and with healthier ways of coping after academic failure. In other words, the inner voice that says "this is hard, and it is normal to find it hard" may keep you trying longer than the one that calls you a failure.
Not giving up is not the same as never changing course
There is a trap on the other side of persistence. The sunk cost effect is our tendency to keep investing in something simply because of the time, money or effort already spent. Researchers Hal Arkes and Catherine Blumer described it in 1985, and it explains why people stay in failing projects long after the signs are clear.
Believing in yourself does not mean sticking to one plan at any price. A new route, a smaller goal, a break or asking for help can all be ways of staying true to yourself. The goal is to keep faith in who you are and what you care about, not in a particular strategy.
Small steps that make persistence easier
- Shrink the next task. "Write one paragraph" is easier to start than "finish the essay".
- Talk to yourself as you would to a friend. Notice harsh self-criticism and try a fairer sentence instead.
- Find one supporter. When others doubt you, a single person who believes in you can make a big difference.
- Review, do not just repeat. Every few weeks, ask whether the plan is still working, and adjust it if not.
- Rest on purpose. Recovery is part of long-term effort, not a sign of weakness.
- Ask for help when it is heavy. If low mood or hopelessness lasts, talk to a doctor or a mental health professional.
Sources: YouTube: Look At Yourself After Watching This (harrish0789, 2010); Wikipedia: Grit (personality trait); Wikipedia: Self-compassion; Wikipedia: Sunk cost.
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