Occasionally altering your attitude isn’t achievable – or just not achievable in the short term. You can’t get to a new job immediately. You can’t make someone else alter against his or her wish. And you surely can’t delete the past times. Therefore what choices do you have left?
Alter your perception, opinion or judgement about your considerations. Acting so will help you alter your attitude and finally allow you to mature beyond the fights you can’t control.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus stated it perfectly more than 2,000 years ago: “People are disturbed, not by things (that happen to them), but by the principles and opinions which they form concerning (those) things. When we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never attribute it to others, but to ourselves; that is, to our own principles and opinions.”
Contemporary behavioral science also agrees. American psychologist Albert Ellis, notable for acquiring intellectual affectional behavior therapy (REBT), has demonstrated that how folks respond to issues is driven preponderantly by their aspect of the issues, not the issues themselves.
If you don't know how to alter your way of thinking and reacting, you can try these ways that will help you improve your attitude:
1) Calm down. – In order to earn witting control of what goes on in your mind, you need to acquire an acute awareness for this cognitive process. What helps is to stand for a moment, take a deep breath and free your mind of all the chatter that’s going on inside and all around. This makes room for a change of state, for something new to come in. So give yourself a break. Don’t say you can’t. Yes, you have conflicts out in the world to fight, insecurities to defeat, beloveds to argue with and destinations to reach, but a break from them all is essential. It’s absolutely good for you to take a break and let the world spin without you for a while. If you don’t, you will burn yourself out. You must refill your bucket on a regular basis. That means catching your breath, finding quiet solitude, focusing your attention inward, and otherwise making time for retrieval from the chaos of your everyday life.
2) Focus on what really matters. –Being aware of your thoughts and emotions you become able to consciously redirect your focus. It’s time to take it willingly away from something that drags you down, and zero it in on something that inspires you. Focus on the next logical, important step. There are no desperate situations; there are only people who have grown desperate about them. So keep your hope active through positive awareness. Don’t let the pain make you desperate. Don’t let the negativism wear off on you. Don’t let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Spend your energy moving forward. Change your ideas and you alter your world. Our ideas are the makers of our moods, the inventors of our ambitions, and the creators of our wish. That’s why we must sort through them cautiously, and decide to answer only to those that will help us form the life we need, and the mindset we desire to hold as we’re living it. (Read The Power of Intention.)
3) Surrender your concerns and embrace acceptance. – Recognise that, someplace inside us all, there does live a superior ego who is everlastingly at rest. Because inner peace doesn't depend on outside circumstances; it’s what remains once you’ve given up your ego and concerns. Peace can be found inside you at any place and at any time. It’s always there, patiently waiting for you to turn your attention toward it. Peace of mind arrives the second you come to peace with what’s on your mind. It happens when you let go of the need to be anywhere but where you are, physically and emotionally. This acceptance of the way things are produces the basis for inside concordance. The need for something to represent different in this moment is nothing more than a worry, and worries just guide you in a circle. Keep in mind that the part of you that yearns for serenity is the part of you that experiences peace of mind. It is not perplexed to accomplish it and is as close as your next thought.
4) Become more grateful. – You have to realize that you don’t actually need more; you merely need to revalue what you have. It is a lovely and bittersweet method of imagining all at one time. If you don’t have what you need today, you don’t possess what you desire, but you still have enough. Be grateful for what is, and also be grateful for what hasn't yet come to you. Because that means there are still a lot of possibilities available. Find peace in the idea that you can’t always have it all or experience it all either. You're always only a fraction of the whole. Because if you weren’t, there would be nothing more to feel. Appreciate what you know, and as well appreciate the innumerable matters you do not yet realize. Because in what you do not read, there's the joy of maturation. Life will always be incomplete and a bit asymmetrical. Understand this and embrace it. Be content and sorry at the same time, be starved and grateful at the same time, be anxious and energized at the same time, and be OK with it. (Read Buddha’s Brain.)
5) Reframe your conflicts as growing pains. – Remind yourself that there’s barely any happiness, love or success without fight. If the road is easy, you’re likely going the wrong direction. Everything that happens helps you grow, even if it is difficult to see right now. Conditions will guide you, correct you, and complete you over time. Occasionally these conditions knock you down, hard. There will be times when it appears like everything that could perhaps go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut eternally, but you will not. Once you feel like stopping, recall that occasionally things have to go really wrong before they can go right. Occasionally you have to go through the worst, to reach your best. Because our most important chances are frequently found in times of big trouble. Therefore, you'll confront your worst enemy once you're closest to your greatest miracle.
6) Every ending means a new beginning. – Nothing lasts forever. It's essential to realize that everything will eventually come to an end. You just have to accept it and get over it too. Don't be afraid to move on and turn the page. The past is the past. Live your present, create your future. You don't have to erase the past completely; you only need to keep the things that will help you move on. After every ending, there is something new waiting for you to find it. Don't be afraid to make a brand new start. It’s a point in your book where one chapter fades into the next. Dare to read the new chapter!
7) Using your body can save you from the worst. Your head reflects your body by responding to its levels of tension, rate of breath, speed of movement and mental focus. Likewise your body mirrors your thoughts, feelings, mood, and responds to your state of mind, the questions you ask and the words you speak. So if the mind and body are intrinsically connected – meaning that one has a direct affect on the other – it becomes clear that if we directly and consciously take control of one, it will influence and transform the other. So by mindfully adjusting how you use your body you can directly influence your state of mind, and dramatically transform your attitude. Just imagine you’re sitting there in a bad mood, shoulders hanging forward, shallow breathing and frowning. Go ahead and do this right now to experience how it influences your state of mind. And then do the opposite: stand up straight and put a big smile on your face. Take some deep, strong breaths and stretch your arms into the air. You will feel better immediately.