Originally published 2022-06-21.
Evgeny Anisimov, an energy specialist from Volgograd in southern Russia, became a single father almost overnight. His son Misha was born in 2018 with Down syndrome. Misha's mother could not come to terms with the diagnosis and wanted to give the baby up; Evgeny refused, the couple separated, and he took on Misha's care himself. Since 2020 he has shared their everyday life online, hoping to show other parents that a Down syndrome diagnosis is not the end of the world.
The night Misha was born
Evgeny has been honest that the news hit him hard. He told interviewers that he cried when doctors confirmed the diagnosis, and a 2022 profile in the Russian parenting magazine Mel carried his words as its headline: he went out running and wept. But he has also said the shock did not last long. That first night he read everything he could find about Down syndrome, and he never considered leaving his son.
Talking to Bored Panda in 2020, he explained his reasoning in practical terms: his skills, his energy and his curiosity were all still there. His life had not collapsed; his son had simply arrived with needs he had not expected.
A painful split
Misha's mother saw things differently, and wanted the baby placed in state care. According to Evgeny, he tried to persuade her that together they could manage, but the disagreement ended their relationship. In interviews he has avoided condemning her, saying he believes fear drove her decision at a moment when events moved too fast to undo.
Only one side of that story has been told publicly, and it is worth reading it with that in mind. What is clear is that parents who receive an unexpected diagnosis often face it with little information and, in some countries, with pressure from doctors or relatives to choose institutional care.
Everyday life as a single dad
Evgeny first took parental leave to care for Misha full time. When his son was around fifteen months old he went back to work, choosing a role without management duties so that he had more time and energy for home. His mother looks after Misha during the working day, and Evgeny takes over in the evenings and at weekends.
Misha's week includes swimming, movement classes and regular speech therapy. Evgeny tracks his progress using a development questionnaire covering six areas, and he learned much of what he knows about childcare from books and a chat group for parents. Through the Moscow-based charity Downside Up he met other families raising children with Down syndrome, many of whom now follow the pair online.
What Down syndrome is, in brief
Down syndrome is a genetic condition caused, in most cases, by an extra full or partial copy of chromosome 21, which is why it is also called trisomy 21. It is not caused by anything parents did or did not do during pregnancy. Worldwide, about 1 in 1,000 babies is born with it.
Children with Down syndrome usually have some degree of intellectual disability and reach developmental milestones later than other children, but abilities vary widely from person to person. About 40% of babies are born with a heart defect, and some have thyroid, hearing or vision problems, so regular check-ups matter. Parents with questions about their own child's health should talk to a doctor.
Outcomes have changed dramatically. With good medical care, life expectancy in wealthy countries is now around 50 to 60 years, compared with well under 20 a few generations ago. Early intervention, such as physiotherapy, speech therapy and inclusive education, helps children build skills, which is exactly the kind of support Misha receives.
Is life really different in Europe?
In 2020 Evgeny said he had read that people with Down syndrome in Europe were well integrated and could live and work independently, though he stressed this did not influence a decision he had already made. The reality is more mixed. Many European countries offer inclusive schooling, supported employment and assisted housing, and some adults with Down syndrome do live largely independently, hold jobs, marry and act. Others need substantial daily support throughout life. There is no single outcome, and a child's future depends on their own abilities as well as on the services and attitudes around them.
In Russia, charities such as Downside Up have spent decades pushing for early support and against the old habit of placing babies with disabilities in institutions. Fathers like Evgeny speaking publicly are part of that change.
A message for other parents
Evgeny says he answers messages from families near and far, and that he wants their story to reach parents who are frightened right now. His advice to them is short: "Don't be afraid! Everything will be fine!"
For anyone who has just received a diagnosis, a few practical steps can help:
- Find a local Down syndrome association. They can connect you with other families, therapists and up-to-date information.
- Ask about early intervention. Services such as physiotherapy and speech therapy work best when they start early.
- Lean on people. Grandparents, friends and parent groups made Evgeny's life as a working single father possible.
- Take time with the feelings. Shock and grief are common at first and do not mean you love your child any less.
Misha's worth does not depend on how independent he becomes. His father's story is simply about loving the child who arrived and learning, day by day, how to help him grow.
Sources: GreenMe, October 2020; Mel, October 2022: single father from Volgograd on raising a child with Down syndrome (in Russian); Wikipedia: Down syndrome; original interview: Bored Panda, 2020; Evgeny Anisimov on Instagram (@evgen_tyz).
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