First published December 26, 2021.
Bennett Kaspar-Williams is an American transgender man who carried and gave birth to his son, Hudson, in October 2020. When he talked about the experience to the Daily Mail in December 2021, his main complaint was not about pregnancy itself. It was about the words people used. Despite a full beard, a flat chest and a male gender marker on his documents, he said, staff in pregnancy care kept calling him "mom", "mother" or "ma'am", and that, more than anything his body was doing, was what triggered his dysphoria.
His story drew the usual storm of online reactions. Below is what he actually said, the medical background that explains how a trans man can become pregnant, and what research and clinical practice suggest about getting care right for parents like him.
Who Bennett Kaspar-Williams is
At the time of the interview Bennett was reported to be 37 and living in Los Angeles with his partner, Malik. He had transitioned years earlier with hormone treatment and surgery. When the couple decided they wanted a child, he paused testosterone so that his body could conceive, and Hudson was born in autumn 2020, in the middle of the pandemic.
He has described that period as isolating. Because of hospital restrictions, he faced many appointments alone, and he later called carrying his son through it the hardest and bravest thing he had ever done. He was clear that the pregnancy did not make him feel less of a man. In his own summary, being able to say he was a dad who had created his own child felt like strength, not contradiction.
What he said about being called "mother"
Bennett's criticism was aimed at a system rather than at individual nurses. He argued that pregnancy care in the United States is built around marketing an idea of motherhood, from the names of clinics to the paperwork, so that a pregnant patient is almost automatically treated as a woman. Even when his records listed him as male, he said, people defaulted to female terms.
His sharpest line was simple: "The only thing that made me dysphoric about my pregnancy was the misgendering." He added that nothing about carrying a baby felt feminine to him. For him the body was doing a job; the language around it was what hurt.
He also explained how he came to the decision at all. For years he had not wanted to carry a child. What changed, he said, was learning to see his body as a tool rather than as a set of gender expectations. Once he separated what his body could do from what society said it meant, pregnancy stopped looking like a betrayal of who he was.
How a trans man can become pregnant
A trans man who was born with a uterus and ovaries, and has not had them removed, may still be able to conceive. Testosterone therapy usually stops periods, but research summarised in medical literature shows that it is not a reliable contraceptive and that fertility often returns after it is paused. A 2015 study found that many trans men who planned a pregnancy conceived within six months of stopping testosterone. Doctors advise against taking it while trying to conceive, during pregnancy and while breastfeeding, because it can affect the baby.
That is exactly the path Bennett described: stopping treatment, conceiving with his partner, and resuming his transition care afterwards. It is not new, either. Thomas Beatie, an Oregon man, made headlines worldwide when he gave birth in 2008, and since then a steady trickle of trans fathers have shared similar stories. National figures are scarce, but Australian Medicare data recorded 75 births to male-identified people in 2016 alone.
Not every trans man can or wants to do this, and Bennett made that point himself. Being born with a uterus, he noted, does not guarantee anyone can conceive or carry a baby, which is true for cisgender women too.
What research says about trans parents in maternity care
Bennett's experience fits a pattern that researchers have documented. A 2014 study of trans men who had been pregnant found many felt isolated and some experienced dysphoria linked to how others perceived their changing bodies. Other studies note that the attitude of care providers strongly shapes where trans patients choose to give birth, with some preferring midwives they trust.
The consequences can be more serious than hurt feelings. A 2021 Swedish case report described a pregnant trans man in premature labour who was left waiting in an emergency department because staff did not believe a man could be pregnant. In the United States, the Associated Press reported in 2019 on a trans man whose baby was stillborn after he waited hours to be assessed despite warning signs. Those cases are rare, but they show that assumptions about who can be pregnant can delay care.
None of this means every clinician who slips into the word "mom" is acting in bad faith. Habit is powerful, and forms, wristbands and computer systems are often built with only one kind of patient in mind.
Simple ways to get the language right
Health workers and family members who want to support a trans or non-binary parent do not need special training to start. A few habits go a long way:
- Ask the person's name and pronouns at the first appointment, and note them clearly in the record so the next person does not have to ask again.
- Ask what parental word they prefer. Some use dad, papa or parent; some are happy with mother. Bennett's family uses Dada and Papa.
- Use neutral clinical terms such as "the patient" or "the person giving birth" when talking about procedures, while still using whatever words the patient prefers for themselves.
- If you get it wrong, apologise briefly and carry on. A quick correction is better than an awkward speech.
Inclusive wording does not erase anyone else. Hospitals that have adopted it generally keep "mother" and "woman" for the many patients who use those words, and add other terms for those who do not. Any medical questions about pregnancy, hormones or fertility should go to a doctor who knows the person's history.
Raising Hudson
Bennett has spoken warmly about how his son will see all this. Children, he argued, do not come with adult prejudices built in. To Hudson, having a Dada and a Papa is simply normal, and one day he will learn that his Dada was the one who carried him. Bennett's hope is that his son will take that fact the way children take most things about their families: as part of a home where he is loved.
That may be the most useful takeaway from the story. However people feel about the wider debates around gender, a parent who has just been through pregnancy and birth deserves to be addressed the way he asks to be. It costs nothing, and it makes care safer.
Sources: original interview reported by the Daily Mail; LGBTQ Nation, December 2021; Wikipedia: Transgender pregnancy (summarising Berger et al. 2015, Light et al. 2014, Falck et al. 2021).
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