Originally published 2021-08-16.
In mid-2021, Brazilian mother Fernanda Rocha Kanner deleted the Instagram and TikTok accounts of her 14-year-old daughter, Valentina, who had built a following of more than 1.7 million people under the name Nina Rios. Fernanda said that basing a young person's sense of self on feedback from strangers was unhealthy, and that her job as a parent was to protect her daughter rather than to be popular with her. Valentina admitted she was angry, but later said she did not want to go back to social media for now.
The family told their story on Fantástico, the Sunday evening programme on Brazil's TV Globo, in a segment aired in late July 2021. It was then picked up by outlets around the world and sparked a heated debate about teenagers, fame and parental control.
Who are Fernanda and Valentina?
Valentina had become a small-scale celebrity in her early teens, posting selfies, outfits and short dance clips that drew a combined audience of well over a million across the two platforms. Some earlier English-language reports spelled her online name as "Nina Ros"; most coverage, including Latin Times, gives it as Nina Rios.
Fernanda has her own Instagram account, and two of her posts are embedded below.
A post shared by Fernanda Rocha Kanner (@ferochakanner)
Why the mother pulled the plug
Fernanda said she decided to act after logging into her daughter's accounts and scrolling through what she found there: 30 identical selfies and little dances that anyone can do
. Her worry was less about any single post than about what the attention was doing to a 14-year-old still working out who she is.
In the interview she argued that even adults struggle when millions of strangers feel they know them, and that for a teenager it becomes easy to start believing the online character is the real person. She was also blunt about brand deals, saying she did not want her daughter promoting cheap, mass-produced clothing or performing the same dances daily for approval. She summed up her own decision as Radical, yes. Necessary, too.
A post shared by Fernanda Rocha Kanner (@ferochakanner)
How Valentina reacted
Valentina did not pretend to be pleased. Speaking to the programme, she said she was unhappy and got quite angry
when the accounts disappeared. Yet when asked whether she planned to return, she said it would be her own choice and that, for the moment, she did not want to, because she felt it would only get in her way.
That mixed response is worth noticing. The story is often shared as a simple "mum knows best" tale, but the teenager's frustration and her later perspective are both part of it.
Praise, criticism and a divided internet
Reactions split largely along generational lines. Many parents applauded Fernanda for putting her daughter's well-being ahead of follower counts. Many teenagers called her possessive. Fernanda said strangers online accused her of being narcissistic, selfish and even jealous, and of destroying her daughter's dreams.
Both sides raised fair points. Supporters pointed to the pressure of constant public feedback on a young teen. Critics noted that deleting a large account without warning removes something a young person had invested real time and creativity in, and that a negotiated plan might have taught more than a sudden shutdown.
What research says about teens and social media
The family's concern reflects a wider worry among health experts. In 2023, the US Surgeon General issued an advisory on social media and youth mental health. It reported that up to 95 percent of 13- to 17-year-olds use social media, with around a third saying they are online "almost constantly." Young people who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of symptoms of depression and anxiety, and nearly half of adolescents said social media makes them feel worse about their bodies.
The advisory also acknowledged that social media can bring benefits, such as connection and creative expression, and that many questions about which content and patterns of use are most harmful remain open. It stopped short of calling for teens to be banned, instead concluding that platforms could not yet be considered safe enough for young people and urging families, companies and governments to act.
Most major platforms, including Instagram and TikTok, set a minimum age of 13 in their terms, which means many young creators begin building audiences at an age when identity and self-esteem are still forming.
Practical ideas for families
Few parents face the question of a million-follower account, but the underlying dilemma is common. Ideas drawn from the Surgeon General's recommendations and from the debate this story provoked:
- Agree a family media plan. Set clear expectations about time, privacy settings, brand deals and who can see posts, ideally before an account grows.
- Create tech-free times and places, such as meals and bedrooms at night, and encourage in-person friendships.
- Talk about feedback. Help young people see likes and comments as a narrow, often distorted signal rather than a measure of their worth.
- Involve the teenager in decisions. Pausing or archiving an account together can achieve the same protection as deleting it, with less resentment.
- Model the habits you want to see, and watch for signs of distress such as poor sleep, withdrawal or constant comparison. If worries persist, talk to a doctor.
Common myths
"Online fame is harmless fun." It can be, but large audiences bring pressure, criticism and commercial demands that adults often find hard to handle.
"Deleting accounts solves everything." Removing the platform does not remove the reasons a teenager wanted it. Conversation and alternatives matter as much as the off switch.
"One family's decision proves what is right for everyone." Fernanda's choice reflected her daughter and her values. Other families may reach a different balance.
Whatever you make of her methods, Fernanda Rocha Kanner forced a question many parents quietly ask: who should a 14-year-old be performing for, and at what cost?
Sources: Latin Times: Mom deletes 14-year-old daughter's social media account with 1.7 million followers (citing TV Globo's Fantástico); US Surgeon General: Social Media and Youth Mental Health advisory (2023). Instagram posts by Fernanda Rocha Kanner (@ferochakanner).
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