In August 2019, Birmingham binman Ben Bird kept a promise he had made years earlier to one of the residents on his round. Dorothy Ballard, known to everyone as Mercy, was about to turn 100, and Ben had told her that if she reached that milestone he would bring her a birthday cake. He did, walking up her garden path with a pink-and-white cake while two colleagues sang Happy Birthday on her doorstep. A short video of the moment, shared by her family, was picked up by ITV News Midlands and the breakfast show This Morning, and soon reached millions of people.
The clip lasts less than a minute, but the friendship behind it took years to build, ten minutes at a time.
Ten minutes every Thursday
Mercy was born in 1919 and, according to ITV, had lived on the same Birmingham road for 74 years. Ben's collection route brought him past her house every Thursday morning, and over time the weekly pickup became a standing appointment. He told ITV that the two of them talked from 8:00 to 8:10 each week, with Mercy waiting for him by her garden path.
He always politely refused her offers of a cup of tea, he said, because he did not want her going to any trouble. Their conversations ranged widely: family news, her memories of a long life, and the modern world, which she found hard to believe. Ben explained that, having been born in 1919, she struggled to imagine what technology can do today, and she could not get her head around his phone.
Earlier write-ups of the story said Ben had been collecting her bins for eight years. ITV's report says he had been working as a binman for about eleven years, without stating exactly how long Mercy had been on his round, so the length of the friendship is best described as several years.
The promise and the surprise
At some point in their chats, Ben made a light-hearted pledge: reach 100, and there would be cake. Mercy held up her end of the deal, and in the week of her birthday Ben arrived with the cake and two of his workmates to sing.
The video shows Mercy opening her door to the song and covering her face with her hand, clearly overwhelmed. She blew out the candles, and Ben encouraged her to make a wish, joking that she should aim for 105. Mercy later said she had been full of emotion. When it came to taking a photo together, she asked, laughing, where she was supposed to look.
She was warm about the young man who had made time for her. In her own words: There aren't many young men that take interest in an old woman.
She told the crew they would be best friends from then on.
The video was posted online by Katy Smith, Mercy's second-eldest great-granddaughter. Some versions of the story describe Katy as a granddaughter; ITV's report identifies her as a great-granddaughter. Katy said she messaged Ben to thank him for making Mercy's day and that the family felt very blessed to have her.
Mercy and Ben are friendship goals! 🙌 pic.twitter.com/khZjUCh60G
— This Morning (@thismorning) August 13, 2019
Reaching 100 in Britain
Mercy's birthday also brought the traditional message from the monarch. In the United Kingdom, people turning 100 can receive a card of congratulations from the King or Queen, and Mercy, like other centenarians in 2019, received one from Queen Elizabeth II. Many people still call it a telegram, the format used in earlier decades.
Turning 100 is less rare than it used to be. In 1911 there were only around a hundred centenarians in the UK; recent estimates put the number at over 16,000. Better nutrition, housing, public health and medical care explain much of that change, and women make up the large majority of people who reach 100.
A century born in 1919 means Mercy lived through the aftermath of the First World War, the Depression, the Second World War, which hit Birmingham hard with bombing raids, and every technological shift from the wireless set to the smartphone. It is easy to see why her stories made Ben's Thursday mornings interesting.
Why small, regular contact matters
Part of the reason the clip struck such a chord is that many older people live alone, and loneliness in later life is a widely recognised problem in the UK and elsewhere. Researchers and charities have linked long-term isolation with poorer physical and mental health, and older people who have outlived spouses and friends can go days without a real conversation.
People who visit a street on a schedule, such as postal workers, refuse collectors, delivery drivers and milk rounds where they still exist, are often among the few regular faces an older person sees. They also tend to be the first to notice when something is wrong: bins not put out, curtains still closed, post piling up. Some UK councils and postal services have trialled schemes in which staff on regular rounds check in on vulnerable residents for exactly that reason.
Ben's ten minutes a week were not a formal scheme. They were just a friendly habit that clearly meant a great deal to both of them, and that may be the most useful lesson in the story.
Simple ways to be a Ben for someone
You do not need a bin lorry to do something similar. A few low-effort ideas:
- Learn the names of older neighbours and stop for a short chat when you pass. Regularity matters more than length.
- Mark the milestones. Birthdays, anniversaries and the first spring day in the garden are easy reasons to knock with a card or a slice of cake.
- Ask for stories. Many older people have fascinating memories and few people asking about them.
- Notice changes. If someone who is usually out and about disappears from view, a knock on the door or a word with their family can make a real difference.
- Help with technology, gently. Showing someone how to video-call a grandchild can open up a whole new channel of contact.
- Look for local befriending services. Charities in many countries match volunteers with isolated older people for regular calls or visits.
Mercy's reaction on the doorstep says it all. Ben did not bring anything expensive; he brought proof that someone had remembered a promise and cared enough to keep it.
Sources: ITV News Midlands, 13 August 2019: Midlands binman surprises woman on her 100th birthday; GodUpdates, 5 February 2020: 100-year-old grandma and her garbage man; Wikipedia, Centenarian. Video: shared by Katy Smith, broadcast by ITV's This Morning (@thismorning).
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