Originally published 2019-09-18.
In August 2019, the singer Pink (Alecia Beth Moore) posted a family photo on Instagram with a simple dare for the whole internet: “Go ONE day without criticizing someone online.” If people managed one day, she suggested, they could try two. She gave the challenge a cheeky, mildly profane name, switched off comments on her own post and waited to see who would take part.
The challenge came after a summer of strangers picking apart her parenting, and it quickly took an unexpected turn when her husband, motocross rider Carey Hart, shared it and was reminded of a post of his own. Here is the full story, and what it says about why criticising people online comes so easily.
A summer of “parent police”
Pink and Hart married in 2006 and have two children, Willow, born in 2011, and Jameson, born in 2016. By 2019 the couple had been married for thirteen years, not eleven as some versions of this story claimed. Pink regularly shared snapshots of family life, and almost as regularly received unsolicited advice about it.
In early July 2019, while she was touring Europe, she posted a photo of Jameson at a zoo in Hamburg, Germany. One follower objected that animals should not be kept in captivity. Others joined in, though many fans defended her and pointed out that good zoos support conservation and education. Pink replied that she liked to spark a child's love of animals first, and added: “I don't remember asking you for your opinion or for your help in raising my child.”
She followed up with a sarcastic photo of Willow running through a garden sprinkler, listing all the things critics might find wrong with it: wasted water, no helmet, questionable sunscreen. She also noted, pointedly, that she was working in another country at the time.
A week later she turned off comments on her Instagram page altogether, announcing that there would be no more. Earlier that year she had also faced a backlash over a photo of her children at Berlin's Holocaust memorial.
The challenge itself
On a Sunday in mid-August, Pink posted a picture of Willow sitting on her father's lap, wrapped in a towel after a swim. The caption set out the dare: a worldwide, open challenge to get through a single day without criticising anyone online.
The idea was deliberately small. She was not asking people to agree with everything or to stop discussing important issues. She was asking them to notice how often they reach for a negative comment, and to skip it for twenty-four hours.
Carey Hart's share, and an awkward reminder
Hart reposted the photo on his own account and wrote that he thought it was “a long shot, but I'm optimistic!!!” Unlike Pink, he had left his comments open, and followers soon used them.
A short time earlier, Hart had posted a photo of a man at his gym sitting on a calf-press machine reading a newspaper. He had blacked out the man's face but mocked him for tying up the equipment, and complained that this was why he disliked public gyms.
Several commenters pointed out the contradiction. One suggested that criticising a stranger whose full story you do not know is the worst kind of criticism, and that he might want to delete the gym post. It was a gentle but fair point: the man had no say in becoming the subject of a post seen by a large audience.
The exchange did not undermine the challenge. If anything, it illustrated it. Even people who dislike online pile-ons can slip into the same habit without thinking.
Why criticising is so easy online
Psychologists have a name for this: the online disinhibition effect, described by John Suler of Rider University in a 2004 paper. People say things online they would rarely say face to face, and Suler and later researchers point to several reasons:
- Distance and anonymity. Many commenters feel unseen, and the person they are writing about feels far away.
- Missing cues. Without a face, tone of voice or body language, it is harder to feel the impact of words.
- Delay. Comments are posted and left; the writer rarely sees the moment they land.
- Group behaviour. When many people are already criticising, joining in feels normal.
Suler also described a positive side: the same freedom helps shy people open up and lets communities support each other. The challenge is to keep the benefits and drop the cruelty.
Celebrities are an easy target because their lives are visible and they seem untouchable. Pink is far from alone; many well-known parents have spoken about being judged over feeding, schooling, holidays and screen time. But the habit does not stay with famous people. The same reflex hits friends, colleagues and strangers in local groups.
Criticism versus comment: a useful distinction
A day without criticism does not mean a day without opinions. A few questions help separate a considered view from a reflexive jab:
- Do I know the context? A single photo rarely shows the whole situation.
- Who is this for? Will the comment help the person, or mainly let me vent?
- Would I say it to their face? If not, it probably does not need posting.
- Is this about an issue or a person? Debating zoos, for example, is different from telling one mother she is failing.
- Is the subject a private person? Strangers caught in photos, like the man at the gym, cannot answer back.
Fair criticism of public decisions, products or ideas is part of healthy debate. What Pink was pushing back against was the constant low-level judgment of personal choices that harm no one.
How to try the challenge yourself
The beauty of Pink's dare is that it costs nothing and can start today. Some simple ways to make it work:
- Before posting a comment, wait a few minutes and reread it.
- Replace one critical comment with a kind or useful one.
- Mute topics or accounts that reliably make you angry.
- If you slip, notice it without beating yourself up, and start again tomorrow.
Most people who try it find the hardest part is not staying silent but noticing how often the urge appears. That awareness is the real point. One day is a modest goal, and it was never meant as a rule that no one may ever question a public figure. It was an invitation to treat other people, famous or not, with a little more care.
(The video originally embedded here is no longer available on YouTube.)
Sources: KOKH Fox 25 / Good Morning America, 21 August 2019; Good Morning America, 9 July 2019; Good Morning America, 16 July 2019; Wikipedia: Pink (singer); Wikipedia: Online disinhibition effect.
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