Jessica Sharman, a young recruitment worker from Tunbridge Wells in Kent, lost almost every memory of her life after a series of epileptic seizures in March 2016. She no longer knew her parents, her own name or Rich Bishop, the colleague she had been dating for a few months. Over the following year she got to know him again from scratch, and she fell for him a second time.
Her story spread around the world in 2017 because it sounds like a film plot. The real version is quieter and more interesting: a frightened young woman relearning who she was, a family trying not to overwhelm her, and a boyfriend who accepted that she owed him nothing.
What happened to Jessica Sharman
Jess, as her family calls her, had lived with frontal lobe epilepsy since she was diagnosed in 2010. On 3 March 2016 she was commuting into London with Rich, who worked in recruitment alongside her, when the seizures struck. British reports differ on whether they were on a mainline train from Tunbridge Wells or on the Underground, and on whether the couple had been together five or seven months, but the core account is consistent.
Rich held her up for the rest of the journey, got her to their office and phoned her parents. Jess later said she could recall stepping onto the train and then nothing at all until a woman ran towards her and hugged her, saying she was her mother. She had no idea who the woman was.
Doctors later told her she had retrograde amnesia: the loss of memories formed before an injury or illness. They said that if anything came back it would most likely be within about six months, and they warned there was roughly a 50 per cent chance of a similar episode in the future.
Jess Sharman photographed for the press agency SWNS when her story was first published in early 2017, around a year after the seizures.
Meeting her own family again
The first hours were the hardest. Her mum, Lisa, persuaded Jess they were related by scrolling through photographs of the two of them on her phone. Before getting into the car, Jess checked her own reflection against those pictures to be sure. When someone rested a reassuring hand on her knee, she pulled away; from a stranger it felt far too intimate.
Her father, Gary, and her mother had to watch their daughter fail to respond to her own name. Jess described feeling lonely in a way that is hard to imagine: she did not know her personality, what she was good at, or even which foods and music she liked. She stopped working and spent months simply rebuilding the basics, from family history to her own preferences.
A black-and-white selfie, apparently with her parents. Jess had to get to know Lisa and Gary all over again; photographs on her mum's phone were the first proof she had that they were family.
Falling for the same man twice
Rich, who was 25 at the time, faced a strange position. To him, they were a happy couple. To her, he was a kind man she had just met who kept trying to hold her hand. She would not walk beside him in a park he told her had been their favourite place.
About two weeks after her diagnosis, Jess tried to end the relationship. Rich was devastated, but instead of arguing he asked for a fresh start: no promises, no expectations. She agreed to date him again. He brought flowers, took her back to restaurants they used to enjoy, and let her decide how fast things moved.
Slowly, the awkwardness turned into real affection. By the autumn of 2016 he was practically living at her family home. Her own summary, given to Refinery29, is the line that made the story famous: "I don't remember the first time I fell in love with Rich but I do remember the second."
Jess and Rich together in the SWNS photo shoot. He had been her colleague in London before he became her boyfriend, and he was there on the day the seizures happened.
A sunny selfie of the couple. Rich has said little publicly; most of what is known comes from Jess's own account to British newspapers.
Retrograde amnesia, epilepsy and the films people compare it to
Readers often compare the couple to 50 First Dates or The Vow. The second is the closer match. In 50 First Dates, the heroine cannot form new memories, so each day resets; that is anterograde amnesia. Jess's problem was the reverse: she could make new memories but had lost the old ones. The Vow, about a wife who forgets her husband after a car crash, was itself inspired by a real American couple.
Frontal lobe epilepsy is the second most common form of epilepsy after temporal lobe epilepsy. Its seizures usually start in the frontal lobes, are often brief, and frequently happen during sleep. Brief confusion after a seizure is common in many kinds of epilepsy, and the condition and some medicines can affect working memory. Losing nearly two decades of personal memory, as Jess did, is far beyond that typical picture, which is why doctors could not promise her a recovery.
A few clarifications help avoid common myths:
- Amnesia is rarely total in the film sense. People with retrograde amnesia usually keep skills such as speaking, reading or making tea, even when personal history is gone. Jess was able to return to work, though she said she still forgot short-term details such as who had just phoned.
- Memories do not reliably return with a shock or a familiar song. That is a screen device. In Jess's case, months passed without anything coming back.
- Epilepsy is not one condition. It covers many seizure types and causes, and most people with it never experience memory loss on this scale.
Anyone who notices new memory gaps, confusion after seizures or a change in seizure pattern should talk to a doctor; a neurologist can investigate what is happening and whether treatment needs to change.
Jess at a restaurant table with a dessert. Revisiting favourite places, with no pressure to remember them, was part of how she and Rich rebuilt their relationship.
What her story shows about supporting someone with memory loss
The details of Jess's recovery are a useful guide for families facing something similar, whether the cause is a seizure, a brain injury or illness:
- Lead with evidence, not insistence. Lisa did not demand to be recognised; she showed photographs. Concrete records, such as pictures, videos and old messages, help a person accept facts they cannot feel.
- Respect boundaries. To someone with amnesia, a partner or parent may truly feel like a stranger. Touch, shared beds or pet names can feel intrusive until trust is rebuilt.
- Let them choose the relationship. Rich's willingness to accept a break-up, and then to start over with no promises, is what made the second relationship possible.
- Build new memories on purpose. Jess said her aim was to focus on making new ones rather than waiting for the old ones to return.
- Look after the carers. Parents and partners grieve too. Epilepsy and brain injury charities offer helplines and support groups for families.
Where Jess and Rich were when the story was told
By the time newspapers caught up with them in 2017, the six-month window doctors had mentioned had passed without her memories returning. Jess described having recovered a life rather than her past, and said the relationship was going from strength to strength. We have not found reliable later updates on the couple, so their story is told here as it stood then.
The couple at home, dressed up for an evening out. Jess's account of a second first love has been retold many times; the original interviews were published through SWNS and The Sun in February 2017.
Sources: National News (SWNS), February 2017; Fox News, via The Sun, February 2017; Refinery29, November 2017; Wikipedia: Frontal lobe epilepsy. Photos: SWNS.
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