First published April 17, 2019.
If you have ever bought something you were excited about and then barely noticed it a month later, you have met one of the most consistent findings in happiness research. On average, money spent on experiences, such as a trip, a concert, a class or a meal with friends, tends to bring more lasting satisfaction than money spent on things. The effect is not magic and it has limits, but it is well supported, and understanding why it happens can help you spend in a way that actually makes you feel better.
The short answer: what the research found
Much of this work comes from Cornell University psychologist Thomas Gilovich and his colleagues. In a 2003 paper with Leaf Van Boven, people asked to think about past purchases tended to say their experiential purchases had made them happier than their material ones. Later studies by Gilovich, Amit Kumar, Matthew Killingsworth and others pointed in the same direction: experiences are remembered more fondly, talked about more, and are less likely to be regretted.
Travel is the example people reach for first, but the category is much wider. A cooking class, a weekend hike, theatre tickets, a road race or an evening at a local festival all count. What matters is that you are buying something you do rather than something you keep.
Why new things stop feeling new
Psychologists call the underlying process hedonic adaptation, sometimes nicknamed the hedonic treadmill. The term was coined by Philip Brickman and Donald Campbell in 1971 to describe how people tend to drift back toward a fairly stable level of happiness after good or bad events. A famous 1978 study found that lottery winners, after the initial thrill, reported being only about as happy as before.
Possessions are especially easy to adapt to. A new phone or a pair of shoes is exciting on day one, but it quickly becomes part of the background. Because it is physically there every day, you stop noticing it, and the pleasure fades. That fading is often what drives "retail therapy": buying something new to recreate a lift that the last purchase no longer gives.
None of this means shopping is wrong. It simply explains why buying things to manage stress or boredom rarely delivers what it promises.
What makes experiences different
They improve in memory
A holiday that included a missed train and a rainy afternoon is often remembered as an adventure. Memory tends to smooth the rough edges of experiences and keep the highlights, while an object stays exactly as it is, scratches included.
They become part of who you are
Gilovich's research suggests people see experiences as part of their identity. Running your first 10K or learning to dive becomes part of your story in a way a new sofa rarely does.
They connect you to other people
Experiences are usually shared, either in the moment or afterwards in conversation. Cornell students in Gilovich's studies said they enjoyed talking about their experiences more than their possessions, and those conversations bring people closer. Stories about a trip invite questions; stories about an expensive watch can sound like boasting.
They are harder to compare
It is easy to feel your laptop is worse than a friend's newer model. It is much harder to rank your camping weekend against someone else's city break. Fewer comparisons means less second-guessing and less buyer's remorse.
The waiting is part of the pleasure
Studies by Kumar, Killingsworth and Gilovich found that people tend to enjoy anticipating an experience more than anticipating a possession. Looking forward to a trip for weeks is itself a source of happiness, which is one reason booking ahead can feel so good.
Common myths about spending and happiness
"Money can't buy happiness." It is more accurate to say that how you spend matters. Research on income generally finds that money helps, especially when it relieves real hardship, but its effect shrinks as income rises and it depends heavily on what the money is used for.
"Only big trips count." Small, frequent experiences can be just as valuable. A monthly dinner with friends or a series of swimming lessons may give you more total enjoyment than one expensive holiday.
"Every experience beats every object." Not quite. An unpleasant or stressful experience will not make you happier, and some objects, such as a bicycle, a musical instrument or good walking boots, exist mainly to make experiences possible. Researchers sometimes call these "experiential products".
"Travel always fixes unhappiness." A trip can give perspective and rest, but it will not solve problems at home. If you feel persistently low, talking to a doctor or a trusted professional is a better first step than a booking site.
How to choose experiences that fit your life
The goal is not to stop buying things, but to notice where your money gives you the most lasting value. A few practical ideas:
- Start with what you already enjoy. Spend on deepening an interest, such as a workshop, a club membership or tickets, rather than on accessories for it.
- Do it with people. Shared experiences tend to bring more satisfaction and better stories than solo ones, though time alone has its place.
- Try something new. Novelty makes memories stick. A different route, a new cuisine or an unfamiliar sport all count.
- Plan ahead when you can. You get the pleasure of anticipation as well as the event itself.
- Stay within budget. Debt from a trip can quickly cancel out its benefits. A cheap local adventure you can afford beats an expensive one that worries you.
- Pause before impulse buys. Waiting a day or two before buying a non-essential item helps you tell a real need from a passing urge.
Looking back
Gilovich has also studied regret, and one of his findings is that over the long run people tend to regret the things they did not do more than the things they did. As he summed it up in a line often quoted from his work: "You'll regret more the things that you didn't do than the things you did."
That is perhaps the most useful way to think about spending. Objects can be useful, comfortable and worth owning. But when you have a choice and a little money to spare, an afternoon, a trip or a new skill shared with people you care about is more likely to keep paying you back in memories long after the receipt has faded.
Sources: Thomas Gilovich (Wikipedia); Hedonic treadmill (Wikipedia); Van Boven, L. and Gilovich, T. (2003), "To Do or to Have? That Is the Question", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The topic was earlier shared via Healthy Holistic Living.
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