Australian artist Luke Humphris made a short autobiographical comic called Toxic Masculinity to explain what the much-argued term actually means, using moments from his own life. Originally created for the comics site The Nib, it walks from childhood teasing to adult violence, depression and, finally, his older brother's suicide, before ending on a hopeful note about what men can choose to change.
The comic's central point is one that is often missed in online arguments: the phrase does not mean that masculinity itself is toxic. It describes a narrow set of expectations, such as never crying, never asking for help and treating anger as the only acceptable emotion, that can quietly hurt men and the people around them. Humphris also pointed readers to community groups such as Men's Shed, which give men a place to connect.
Content note: the comic deals with suicide. If you are struggling, in Australia you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 at any time; elsewhere, please contact your local crisis line or emergency services.What "toxic masculinity" means
The term grew out of the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and 1990s, where writers such as Shepherd Bliss contrasted a harmful, stereotyped masculinity with a deeper, healthier one. In social science today it usually refers to traditional norms like dominance, extreme self-reliance and emotional suppression that can harm men, women and society, rather than to men as such.
It remains a debated phrase. Some researchers say it is used too loosely, and in 2019 the American Psychological Association's guidelines on men and boys, which linked rigid "traditional masculinity ideology" to poorer health, drew both praise and criticism. Humphris sidesteps the debate by showing concrete examples rather than arguing over the label.
The comic, panel by panel
The comic opens by asking what "toxic masculinity" means, with a grinning narrator figure beside an exaggerated muscle-bound man. Humphris addresses the common misreading head-on: the term does not say men are toxic. In social science it refers to harmful attitudes attached to the male role.
Here he defines it as a set of pressures that deny men "unmasculine" traits while rewarding anger, aggression and destructive habits. The tough figure now wipes away tears in secret while looking at his phone. Humphris warns that left unchecked, those pressures can lead men to hurt themselves or others, then turns to his own life.
Two young brothers sit by a bicycle after a fall, one cradling a scraped knee. As children, they were told not to cry over injuries or hurt feelings. Humphris notes the "silent pride" that grew from always appearing resilient, a habit many men will recognise from their own childhoods.
A boy in an apron proudly holds a tray of cookies while laughter fills the panel. Interests seen as feminine, like cooking, dancing and singing, drew teasing from family and friends, so the brothers gave them up. The lesson he learned was to hide anything that did not seem masculine enough.
As an adult, the narrator appears with a black eye and a split lip after an abusive relationship. He told a few people, but no one offered help, and he felt the silence implied it was his own fault. The panel is a reminder that men can be victims of relationship violence too, and that stigma can keep them from support.
At his lowest point, drinking heavily and unable to get out of bed, he emailed his father for help and was told simply to be strong. The caption at the bottom carries the comic's sharpest line: a tough exterior stops people worrying about you, and that is all it does.
The narrator stands beside his older brother, whom he looked up to as stronger and better than himself. In the brother's T-shirt the name "Luke" is printed backwards, a quiet sign of how closely the narrator measured himself against him. He never knew his brother was struggling, because his brother never spoke about it.
A brother's death and what followed
A nearly empty dark panel holds one short caption: his brother took his own life. The blank space does the work, giving the reader a moment of silence. It is the turning point of the comic.
At the funeral, three generations of men stand together in black suits. The narrator overhears his grandfather telling his father to toughen up and be strong, even at his own son's funeral. The panel shows how the same rule is passed from father to son.
Alone against a dark background, the narrator reflects that even at his father's age, the expectation was still to bury grief. The heavy, shadowed eyes show what is not being said. The pattern he grew up with did not stop at childhood.
The words "And that is toxic" stand in white on a dark page. After the personal story, the definition from the opening panels now has a face and a cost. This is the comic's answer to its own question.
The way forward
The brothers from the childhood panel now share a hug. Humphris argues that being open about emotions and concerns is not weakness, because you cannot change something you will not acknowledge. The bicycle in the background ties the moment back to the scraped knee years earlier.
Two hands clasp in a firm grip. The caption tells readers that anyone, of any gender, is allowed to ask for help, and that talking does not make you fragile. It is the most direct message in the comic.
In the final panel, a muscular figure in a skirt walks hand in hand with a small child wearing a crown. Humphris does not ask men to reject masculine ideals, but to redefine them and accept the many ways boys and men express themselves. Only you, he writes, get to decide what kind of person you want to be.
Why this matters: men and suicide
The comic's story is personal, but the pattern behind it is not rare. In Australia, according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, the age-standardised suicide rate in 2022 was 18.8 per 100,000 for males and 5.9 for females, more than three times higher for men. Many other countries show a similar gap.
There is no single cause, and no comic can explain every death. But reluctance to talk about feelings or to seek help is widely discussed as one reason men may reach crisis before anyone notices. Community spaces help some men open up: the Men's Shed movement began in Australia in the late 1990s and now has over 900 sheds there, built around the idea of men working "shoulder to shoulder". Evidence for their benefits is still mostly based on members' own reports.
Talking about it
If you recognise yourself in these panels, the comic's advice is sound: say something to someone you trust, and if things feel heavy, talk to a doctor or a counsellor. If you are worried about a friend, asking directly how they are doing is far more helpful than waiting for them to bring it up.
In Australia, Lifeline is available 24 hours a day on 13 11 14. In other countries, your local crisis line or emergency number can connect you with help.
Humphris offers the full 15-page comic as a pay-what-you-want download, starting at zero, from his online shop, with a content warning for suicide.
Sources: Luke Humphris: Toxic Masculinity (comic download); Luke Humphris; Wikipedia: Toxic masculinity; AIHW: Suicide deaths over time; Wikipedia: Men's shed; Lifeline Australia.
The idea of the unemotional male is very recent. Its social engineering from the 50s via CIA commissioned teen magazines
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