Free Swim Lessons, Exclusive Demands: A Volunteer Teacher's Chat

Originally published 2018-12-30.

A young woman in southern India who taught children to swim for free, in her own time after work, shared a WhatsApp exchange on Reddit that quickly went viral. A mother she had never met asked her to teach her son, confirmed the lessons were free, and within two hours was demanding one-on-one sessions at a time of her choosing, a pair of goggles, and finally the money other parents had offered to pay.

The teacher, Reddit user u/pretent_its_witty, saved the contact as "Aunty," a common respectful way in India to address an older woman whose name you do not know. She explained that she had been at the office when the first message arrived, saved the number in a hurry, and always keeps details for the guardians of the children she teaches. The exchange was later featured on Bored Panda and other sites.

The screenshots below are one side's account and cannot be independently verified, so we have left the mother anonymous. What they show is still a clear and very relatable lesson about free help, boundaries and, importantly, water safety. Here is the conversation, message by message.

A friendly request becomes a string of demands

Curtis Foreman

This photo of a small child paddling with an inflatable ring is illustrative and does not show the boy in the story. It is a reminder of what free swimming lessons are really about: helping children become safe and confident in the water.

The first message is polite enough. The mother says she got the teacher's number from another parent, Sangeetha, and asks whether her son can join. The teacher replies within two minutes with a simple yes.

The mother's next concern is cost. She asks the teacher to confirm that the lessons are free, explains that she cannot pay, and mentions she is raising her son alone, sending three messages over half an hour without waiting for an answer.

Silence on the other end prompts a stream of nudges: a hello, a request to reply, a couple of question marks. All of this arrives during an ordinary working morning, which matters for what comes next.

The teacher confirms the lessons are free and explains she is at work and cannot always answer at once. The mother calls that rude and immediately asks what time she should bring her son to the pool that day.

The teacher explains that she had already told the other families she would swim alone that day and expects to teach again in about three days. She adds that her usual session with the children runs from 3 to 5 pm.

Instead, the mother proposes 1 pm, reasoning that the water is warmer then and assuming the teacher's hours are flexible. A few minutes later she asks her to reply faster.

The push for private lessons

The teacher holds her ground politely. Work makes 1 pm impossible, she is stressed and needs some time in the water for herself, and she promises to include the boy when she next informs the group.

The mother objects that this is unfair because she has already promised her son a swim. She asks for one good reason she can give him, warning that otherwise he will cry.

The teacher gives two reasons in a short numbered list: she is not teaching today, and she has already cancelled with everyone and cannot reverse that at the last minute.

Here the conversation turns. The mother suggests the cancellation is actually convenient, because now her son can be taught alone. She dismisses the other children as having already had a month of free classes and says the teacher owes her son the difference.

Surprised, the teacher says she cannot run sessions just for one child. The mother answers that her son has anxiety and therefore must be taught alone.

This is the most important reply in the thread. The teacher points out that she is not a certified trainer and does not want sole responsibility for an anxious child in water twice his height, and she suggests finding a qualified instructor. It is exactly the kind of honest limit a volunteer should set.

The mother backtracks: by anxiety, she says, she only meant that her son dislikes other children. She then asks for a full month of exclusive lessons before he joins the group, arguing that the others have had more classes than him.

Without waiting for agreement, she sets the schedule herself: from tomorrow at 1, finished by 3 so nobody catches a chill. She also asks the teacher to bring a spare pair of goggles, or lend her own until she buys some.

Insults, a threat and a request for money

The teacher explains that she cannot swim every day and will not teach anyone exclusively. The response is a gendered insult, partly masked in the screenshot, followed by an appeal to her status as a single mother and a hopeful follow-up a few minutes later.

Noting that her messages have been read, the mother says she will put her son in the pool at 1 pm anyway and hold the teacher responsible if anything happens. It reads as pressure rather than a real plan, but it touches on something serious: drowning is often silent, and the World Health Organization lists it among the leading causes of death for children aged 1 to 4. No child should be left in a pool without a capable adult watching.

Having got nowhere, the mother switches to criticism, calling the teacher a poor instructor and a horrible person, and wondering aloud why everyone has become so selfish and unhelpful.

She then compares their lives, insisting the teacher works fewer hours and earns more, and insults the other parents as wealthy people who could afford a paid instructor but take free lessons instead.

The longest message reveals the real request. Since the teacher turns down payment from other families, the mother argues, she should collect that money and hand it to her instead, as compensation if she will not teach her son privately.

The final screenshot is one more demand for a reply, ending with another insult. The empty message box suggests the teacher had decided, sensibly, that there was nothing more to say.

How Reddit readers reacted

The top comment, from bbkk771144 with tens of thousands of upvotes, singled out the pool threat and answered it with a sarcastic award for parenting. Many readers shared the same alarm at that line.

HealinVision summed up the mother's logic as charging everyone else so that she could be paid, and raised the practical question many volunteers would worry about: what happens if she simply turns up at the group session anyway?

RyanWilliams704 joked that the mother's behaviour might explain the boy's anxiety. It is a sharp line, though childhood anxiety has many causes, and the son is the one person in this story who did nothing wrong.

BleachBleachDab offered a blunter, partly censored verdict on someone who could find a reason to complain even about free lessons.

Free help still has limits

Stories like this circulate under labels such as "choosing beggars," but the useful takeaway is less about mocking one parent and more about how to give help without being swallowed by it. Volunteering your time does not mean agreeing to every request. A clear schedule, a fixed group format and a simple line about availability protect both the helper and the families who rely on them.

The teacher's best move was the one about qualifications. Teaching a nervous child alone in deep water is a responsibility that belongs with a trained instructor and proper supervision. Swimming lessons are one of the most effective ways to protect children from drowning, and they work best when the adult in charge feels able to say no to arrangements that are not safe.

For parents, the lesson is gentler: free help is a gift, not a service with guarantees. Asking politely, accepting the times offered and saying thank you will usually get a child much further, in the pool and elsewhere.

Sources: Bored Panda: I teach swimming to kids for free; Reddit: u/pretent_its_witty (original poster); Wikipedia: Drowning (WHO figures). Screenshots: u/pretent_its_witty and Reddit commenters. Pool photo: Curtis Foreman. Facebook cover image: istockphoto / Orbon Alija.