Being single is not a waiting room. For many people it is a full, happy stage of life, and for some it is a deliberate long-term choice. The good parts are concrete: freedom over your time and money, room to grow, closer friendships, easier travel and the peace of knowing you have not settled for the wrong relationship.
This list was inspired by a first-person essay from a woman who had been happily single for a year and decided to stay that way. She worked in a bike shop, climbed and cycled with friends, shared her home with an elderly cat named Roo and kept a list of reasons for the moments when couples holding hands on the bus made her wonder what she was missing. Her fifteen reasons are below, expanded with what research and everyday experience add to them.
You are in good company
Single life is far more common than film and advertising suggest. A 2020 Pew Research Center analysis found that about 31 percent of American adults were single, meaning not married, not living with a partner and not in a committed relationship. Around half of those singles said they were not looking for a relationship or even dates. The two most common reasons were having more important priorities (47 percent) and simply liking being single (44 percent).
The essay's author touched on a feeling many of those people know: the "grass is greener" pull. Life can feel complete until a couple strolls past, and then it is easy to wonder what is wrong with you. Her fix was to remind herself that this was her own choice and return to her list. Here is that list.
Freedom in everyday life
1. You can flirt without guilt
Harmless flirting is a social skill and a confidence boost. When you are single, a friendly exchange with an attractive stranger is just that, with nobody at home to feel hurt by it. The author joked that her bike shop offered plenty of practice.
2. A night out can go anywhere
When the only plan is to enjoy yourself, every evening is open-ended. You might meet someone new, end up at a concert you had never heard of or go home early with a good book, and none of it needs negotiating.
3. Your bed is all yours
No fighting over the duvet, no snoring, no compromising on the alarm. For the author the only competition was Roo, a ten-pound cat who had shared her bed for fifteen years and still took up far more than her share.
4. You can say no to what you don't want to do
Every choice about your weekends, hobbies and goals is yours. The author's list ranged from a climbing route in Colorado and rebuilding a vintage 1981 Bianchi road bike to riding a hundred miles a week through the summer. Having nobody else's calendar to consider makes long-term personal goals much easier to pursue.
Closer friends and family
5. Family relationships can deepen
One surprise the author mentioned was growing much closer to her mother. Without a partner as her first call, she started checking in with her mum more often, and her mother became a real friend and confidante. Many single people find the same with siblings, nieces and nephews or old family friends.
6. Friendships get stronger, with less drama
Singles often invest more time in friends, and friends become the advisers, editors and emergency support crew a partner might otherwise be. That wider network can be a real strength, because it spreads emotional support across several people instead of resting everything on one.
Time to grow
7. You are not constantly asking "Is this the right person?"
Some people find that every relationship turns into a test of their own identity: are they too much, not enough, with the wrong person? Being single takes that question off the table. You are spending your time with yourself, and you can make that relationship a good one.
8. You have time and energy to work on yourself
Study, fitness, a creative project, a career change or therapy all take time and focus. A single stretch of life can be the moment to give them that attention without feeling you are neglecting anyone.
9. Being "selfish" can be healthy
Getting to know your own needs, strengths and limits is not selfish in the bad sense. People who understand themselves tend to show up better for friends, colleagues and community. You may have heard that you cannot love someone else until you love yourself; that is more of a popular saying than a proven rule, but self-understanding certainly helps any future relationship.
10. You can follow your curiosity
Whether it is a new sport, a new city or an unexpected crush, you can explore it without worrying about hurting a partner. Curiosity is one of the great pleasures of a single life.
Travel, money and adventure
11. Travel is simpler
You choose the destination, the pace and the company, whether that is a solo trip or a climbing weekend with a mixed group of friends. There is nobody back home feeling left out or asking for updates every hour. The author reported that the only heart broken on her last trip belonged to her cat.
12. Your money goes where you choose
Without shared expenses you decide every spending priority. That can mean saving faster or spending on the people you care about most, such as treating your mum to the cinema, buying a friend lunch or splitting fuel and camping fees for a weekend away.
13. Life can feel more adventurous
Your plans are limited mostly by your imagination and energy. Plenty of single people use that freedom to move abroad, change careers or take on big physical challenges that would be harder to arrange as a couple.
Not settling, and the question of "the one"
14. You know you haven't settled
Being alone is not the worst outcome. Staying in an unhappy relationship just to avoid being single often is. Choosing single life over a poor match protects your time, your self-respect and your chance of finding something better.
15. The excitement of meeting someone is still there, or not
Social expectations say you should find a partner, marry and settle down, and dating sites love to publish dramatic odds against finding "the one". Those numbers are playful calculations, not science, and they do not decide anyone's future. The author preferred to spend her time becoming the best version of herself; if she became someone else's "one" one day, wonderful, and if not, that was fine too.
Myths about single people
"Single people are lonely." Loneliness is about the quality of your connections, not your relationship status. Many singles have rich social lives, and many people in relationships feel lonely.
"They just haven't found anyone yet." As the Pew figures show, a large share of single people are not looking at all, often because they have other priorities or simply enjoy their lives as they are.
"Being single is a phase to get through." For some it is a stage, for others a lasting choice. Either way it deserves to be lived fully rather than endured.
Making single life work well
Single life is happiest when it is built on purpose. Keep investing in friendships and family, because they are your support network. Look after your health, build routines you enjoy and have a plan for practical things such as emergencies and finances. If you are single but would like a relationship, staying open to it while building a life you love is a far better place to start from than desperation.
And if loneliness or low mood starts to feel heavy, reach out to friends, and talk to a doctor or counsellor if it persists. Being on your own should feel like freedom, not isolation. As the essay's author put it, on her own she had found that she was enough
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Sources: Inspired by: I Heart Intelligence (original first-person essay); Pew Research Center: A profile of single Americans (2020).
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