Self-awareness is one of the most important traits a man can have. People who are hard on themselves can reach self-awareness easier than others. However, these people face a lot of troubles, since they're always under pressure. The bad thing is that this pressure comes from themselves, but they don't always know how to stop it. They push themselves to achieve more and more, and the idea of failure stresses them out. They love the feeling of doing a great job, but they often beat themselves up over the little things.
If you are too hard on yourself, you will be able to relate to these eight things.
So, do you...
1) Seek perfection because of your past experiences?
People who are hard on themselves have zero tolerance for their own faults. Perfection is important to them. Maybe it’s due to their childhood experience like huge expectations from their parents. Though they know the cause apparently, it has become a habit that they find it hard to get rid of it.
2) Keep asking for feedback to seek reassurance?
Even though they seek perfection in everything they do, people who are hard on themselves don’t know what perfection is. Their parents never praised them enough when they did something good or when they got good grades in school, so that they wouldn't get too big-headed. But that also made them feel that they didn’t do well enough all the time.
3) Treat social situations like exams?
People who are hard on themselves mentally face palm themselves after a conversation - sometimes physically after said conversation - because they tend to treat social situations like taking exams. They feel like they have to get every word and sentence right as if it were a formula.
4) Sometimes coach yourself?
If you sometimes coach yourself, it is because you tend to get easily discouraged by the mistakes you make, like all people who are hard on themselves. It's because you have to pep talk yourself into moving forward. You know you can’t live life to the fullest if you spend it wallowing in self-pity.
5) Avoid asking for help even when you need it?
That's because it makes you feel weak and incapable of helping yourself. And when you ask for it, you feel like you are committing a crime. You want to do everything by yourself and you don’t want to cause anyone any inconvenience.
6) Feel bad if your friends are not having a good time?
You feel responsible for their happiness. You see it as your problem that they aren’t having a good time and you try to solve it. That's a widespread mistake of people who are too hard on themselves. Realize that it's not your own responsibility to make an adult enjoy himself/herself.
7) Try to live your life to the fullest?
People who are hard on themselves, are hard on their way of living too. They don’t want to have an average life; they want to have amazing, happy, successful lives. They are hard on themselves because it takes a lot of work to achieve greatness.
8) Hate failing?
No one likes failing, but people who are hard on themselves really, really hate it. They are always thinking about their goals and how to avoid failure, and this attitude has benefits. They often manage to predict mistakes so they can avoid making them, but when they do make a mistake, it gets them down.
If you answered yes to most of the previous questions, I have a piece of advice for you: try to find a balance! It's good that you always try to become better and that you recognize your faults. However, failure is just a part of success. Everything will come. Don't be too hard on yourself ;)
COMMENTS