Successful vs Unsuccessful People: The Habits That Set Them Apart

Choose Success | Create An Online Business via createanonlinebusiness

What separates people who keep moving forward from people who stay stuck? The popular infographic above, credited to the site Create An Online Business, boils it down to everyday habits. On one side are people who feel grateful, give others credit, forgive, read, set goals and keep learning. On the other are people who criticise, blame, hold grudges, fear change and secretly hope others fail.

The chart is simplified, and nobody fits neatly into one column. But its central idea holds up surprisingly well: the habits that help people succeed over the long run are often generous, curious and forward-looking rather than ruthless. Below we go through the main contrasts, look at what psychology says about them, and turn them into practical steps you can try this week.

The two lists at a glance

Here is what the infographic lists for each group.

Habits it links with success

• Have a sense of gratitude
• Compliment others and forgive them
• Give other people credit for their victories
• Accept responsibility for their own failures
• Read every day and keep a journal
• Talk about ideas; share information and data
• Want others to succeed
• Exude joy and embrace change
• Keep a "to-be" list and a "to-do" or project list
• Set goals, develop life plans and keep learning
• Operate from a transformational perspective

Habits it links with being stuck

• Have a sense of entitlement
• Criticise, hold grudges and talk about people
• Take all the credit for their victories and blame others for their failures
• Watch TV every day
• Say they keep a journal but don't
• Think they know it all
• Fear change and fly by the seat of their pants
• Hoard information and data
• Exude anger and secretly hope others fail
• Don't know what they want to be and never set goals
• Operate from a transactional perspective

Notice that most of these are not about talent, luck or money. They are about attitude towards other people and towards learning, both of which can be practised.

Why generosity beats competition in the long run

Many of us picture successful people as cold and calculating. The infographic suggests the opposite, and there is a good reason. Careers and businesses run on relationships. People who share credit, help colleagues and celebrate others' wins tend to build trust, and trust brings opportunities: recommendations, partnerships and teams that want to work with them again.

The difference between a "transformational" and a "transactional" outlook captures this. A transactional person asks, "What do I get from this exchange?" A transformational one asks, "How can this situation, or this person, grow?" In leadership research, transformational styles are generally associated with more motivated and committed teams, although results vary between workplaces.

Blame and grudges, by contrast, are expensive. They burn attention that could go into solving the next problem, and they push away the people whose help you might need.

Learning, change and the growth mindset

Several items on the "successful" side, such as embracing change, reading daily and continuously learning, line up with what Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck calls a growth mindset. In her 2006 book Mindset, Dweck contrasts people who see ability as fixed with those who believe it can be developed through effort, good strategies and help from others. People with a fixed view tend to avoid challenges that might make them look less capable; people with a growth view are more willing to try, fail and try again.

It is fair to add a caution. Some of Dweck's findings have been hard to replicate, and a large UK trial in 2019 found that a short growth-mindset programme did not improve pupils' literacy or numeracy. The broad idea that curiosity and persistence help is sensible, but a single mindset lesson is not a magic switch. Habits built over months matter more than slogans.

"Thinking you know it all", on the other side of the chart, is the mirror image. Once a person stops being curious, they stop noticing better ways of doing things.

Gratitude, goals and journals

Gratitude sits at the top of the successful list for good reason. Taking stock of what is going well helps people stay steady in hard times and makes them more pleasant to work with. It also counters entitlement, which quietly turns every setback into an injustice.

Goals and plans give effort a direction. "Flying by the seat of your pants" can work for a while, but without goals it is hard to decide what to say no to. Writing down a few clear aims, with a next step for each, is one of the simplest habits on the chart.

Journals and "to-be" lists are about reflection. A to-do list tracks tasks; a to-be list describes the kind of person you want to become, such as patient, reliable or brave. Reviewing both regularly helps you notice whether your days match your values. The chart's jab at people who say they keep a journal but don't is a reminder that good intentions alone do little.

Television is the item most people argue with. Watching TV is not a failing in itself. The point is about default habits: if passive screen time fills every free evening, there is little room left for reading, learning or rest that actually restores you.

Common myths about success

"Successful people are ruthless." Some are, but many of the people who sustain success over decades are known for loyalty and generosity. Being kind and being ambitious are not opposites.

"Success is mostly talent." Ability matters, but effort, feedback and persistence decide how far ability goes. Talent without learning tends to plateau.

"These lists describe two kinds of people." In reality, everyone shows habits from both columns on different days. A useful way to read the infographic is as a mirror, not a label for others.

"Success means money." The chart focuses on behaviour, not income. Many of its habits, such as forgiveness, joy and wanting others to do well, also predict good relationships and life satisfaction.

How to move a habit from one column to the other

• Pick one swap. Choose a single habit from the unsuccessful column that you recognise, such as complaining about colleagues, and decide what you will do instead, such as raising the issue directly or letting it go.
• Give credit out loud. Once a day, thank someone specifically for something they did well.
• Read for twenty minutes. Books, long articles or courses all count. Consistency matters more than volume.
• Write three lines each evening. What went well, what you learned and one thing you will do tomorrow.
• Own one mistake a week. Saying "that was my error, here's how I'll fix it" builds trust faster than any excuse.
• Set one goal for the next ninety days. Keep it concrete and write down the first step.

None of this needs a big budget or special talent. It needs repetition, and a little patience with yourself when you slip back into the other column, as everyone sometimes does.

Sources: Infographic credited to Create An Online Business (createanonlinebusiness.com), as shared by Lifehack; Wikipedia: Mindset (book) on Carol Dweck's research and its criticisms.

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