6 Signs You’re Arguing With A Psychopath

6 Signs You’re Arguing With A Psychopath

Psychopaths make up one percent of the general population. Contrary to popular belief, most of them aren’t serial killers.

They’re manipulative people who intentionally cause harm to others without any sense of remorse or responsibility.
Psychopaths are social chameleons who can fit perfectly into any situation.

They are experts at morphing their identities to get what they want and mirroring others for money, sex, and — most commonly — attention. Because of their ability to idealize others, psychopaths are often perceived as charming, innocent, and fun to unsuspecting onlookers and casual acquaintances.

But there is another side to them.

When they’re feeling threatened or bored, a psychopath’s true colors start to come out. They draw you into arguments that are unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. The argument usually stems from something hurtful or inappropriate they’ve done, but you’ll quickly find that you’re the one defending yourself.

It’s sort of like good cop, bad cop, demented cop, stalker cop, scary cop, baby cop.

Here are 6 warning signs that the person you’re arguing with is a psychopath and it’s time to disengage.

1. They lie and make excuses.

Everyone messes up every now and then, but psychopaths recite excuses more often than they follow through with promises. Their actions never match up with their words and their lies disappoint you so frequently that you actually feel relieved when they do something halfway decent. They’ve conditioned you to become grateful for mediocre treatment.

2. Their tone is condescending and patronizing.

Psychopaths often try to make you unhinged in an attempt to gain the upper hand. Throughout the entire argument, you’ll notice that they keep a calm and cool demeanor. It’s almost as if they’re mocking you — gauging your reactions to see how much further they can push. When you finally react emotionally, that’s when they’ll raise their eyebrows, smirk, tell you to calm down, or feign disappointment.

3. They employ mind-blowing hypocrisy.

In heated arguments, psychopaths have no shame and will often begin labeling you with their own horrible qualities. It goes beyond projection, because most people project unknowingly. Psychopaths know they are smearing you with their own flaws, because they are seeking a reaction. The point is to lure you in so that you react and seem “crazy” to onlookers.

4. They seem to have multiple personalities.

When arguing with a psychopath, you’re likely to notice a variety of their personas. It’s sort of like good cop, bad cop, demented cop, stalker cop, scary cop, baby cop. Once you begin pulling away from their manipulation and lies, they’ll start apologizing and flatter you. If that doesn’t work, they’ll suddenly start insulting the qualities they just flattered two minutes ago. As they struggle to regain control, you’ll be left wondering who you’re even talking to.

5. They play the eternal victim.

Somehow, their bad behavior will always lead back to a conversation about their abusive past or a crazy ex or an evil boss. You’ll end up feeling bad for them, even when they’ve done something horribly wrong. And once they’ve successfully diverted your attention, everything will get messy again. Psychopaths cry “abuse,” but, in the end, you’re the only one being abused.

6. You feel the need to explain basic human emotions to them.

You’ll find yourself attempting to explain emotions like empathy and kindness, guided by the thought that if they understand why you’re hurt, they’ll stop hurting you. You are not the first person who has attempted to see the good in them, and you will not be the last. They behave this way because they know that it hurts you.

There’s only one way out of these arguments. You need to disengage!

Arguments with psychopaths leave you drained. You might spend hours, even days, obsessing over the argument. If you think you have the perfect response to their latest outrageous comment, they planted it there on purpose. They’re trying to provoke you. They’re trying to draw you in.

In professional environments, they want you to blow up so that coworkers and superiors see you as unstable. In romantic settings, they want you to lash out so that they can use your “hysterical” reactions to show potential partners and exes how crazy you’ve become. Until we understand this, we’ll continue to fall into their trap.

So next time someone you’re arguing with uses these tactics to draw you in, try a different strategy: simply smile, nod, and go live your life.

They don’t deserve another second of your time.

by Jackson Mackenzie

Source: Mindbodygreen via Idealist4ever
6 Signs You’re Arguing With A Psychopath 6 Signs You’re Arguing With A Psychopath Reviewed by Katerina Pap on 8:00 AM Rating: 5


  1. Number 6 is confusing. They have empathy, they just use it as a tool and nothing more.

    1. they don't have true empathy. They just pretend, they're very good at mimicking certain human qualities. It's all about manipulation.

  2. Any way to help them become functional?

    1. from my experience no, you end up going around in circles, it may seem you have helped at some point but you'll soon realise they were still acting, saying the things you want to hear while they need you, when they don't, you'll see they're still stuck on square one

  3. OMG! Number 4 is so true cuz I've experienced it myself . Those kind of ppl need attention all the time and when you stop giving them that , they start to get angry but they don't show you that at first and maybe later when their games fail to get your attention , they'll apologize and show some emotions to make you sympathize with them and if this didn't work out , they'd start insulting and blaming you for their own mistakes and they'd also show you thay they were angels but you don't deserve to be with them .. such ppl are usually selfish and they like to take and give you nothing

  4. You will never win an argument with a disoriented person, cause no matter what you say or do he/she won't listen. Like the inspiring stories I've read from Best essay reviews which listed refine ways to communicate with a psychopath.

  5. Wow, thank you for sharing the key characteristics of psychopaths. We will be able to avoid such arguments and concentrate on other important issues. In addition students pursuing medical degrees can consider looking for Dissertation Topic Ideas around this subject matter so that they can develop long term guidelines for communicating with the psychopaths.

  6. This happened every now and then when he intentionally drove me into an argument and I freaked out at his hypocrisy and lack of any moral standards and lashed at him and he would feign disappointment as if it was me all along who had the real problem... He also tried to prove that I'm insane or something for reacting to his actions and tricks and all the manipulations!

    1. Wow! This is exactly what I'm going through with my husband. Even crazier that what you posted is the first comment in almost 5 months, which is the same day I come across this article, on exactly the morning after a long talk/argument with him. Conscience or?


Don't show again. Close

Like us on Facebook?