This Guy Just Explained Capitalism Absolutely Perfectly

This Guy Just Explained Capitalism Absolutely Perfectly This Guy Just Explained Capitalism Absolutely Perfectly Reviewed by Unknown on 1:44 PM Rating: 5


  1. Indian Capitalism: You have two cows. You worship them. :P

    1. Philippine capitalism: The cow project costing millions of pesos has been approved, thanks to our benevolent congressmen. They're so happy they send their wives off to vacations somewhere on this planet (the boutiques on Pluto sucks). Now we have a hundred cows and a lot of bull.

  2. Then you got my capitalism...I call it "Surfers Capitalism" pretty much starts the same way. We surfers start with two cows too. Our fist cow is in the morning when the wave suck and we just sit on our boards and have a cow. Our second cow is later in the afternoon when the waves build and we can actually ride them in. This one is called "Cow-a-bunga!"

  3. Mexican capitalism: You have two cows. You use one to bribe the goverment so they let you milk the other one. You use half production of the second one to pay organized crime so you and your family are safe.

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  5. "Central Bank Capitalism"

    You don't have any cows. They were too annoying to deal with. Now you have a printing press and print up picture of cows.

    None of the dairies are allowed to have cows. When a dairy needs milk they fill out a form and send it in, including a small piece of "a picture of a cow", as their payment of your fee for printing up pictures of cows.

    In return for their form (and scrap of a cow picture) you send them 20,000 pictures of cows from your printing press. They need to remember to keep a tiny scrap of their last picture in order to get more pictures from you.

    Confusingly, everyone believes that they have milk.

    The "consensual reality" created by everyone BELIEVING that the pictures of cows are actually milk, seems to work, as long as you keep printing up pictures of cows fast enough.

  6. UAE Capitalism: You have 2 cows, You buy the cows a home, but they won't be living there. Just for display.

  7. Ultimately, if you want a cow-capitalism analogy, the truth is we all are one cow that is exploited by one farmer. He got the milk we got the straw. He also rapes us for pleasure or kills us for meat, if got pervasive desires or got an appetite for steak. It is not funny actually. But an attempt by the cow to get rid of the farmer and milk itself so far failed miserably... (or led to Animal Farm by George Orwell)

  8. Indian Capitalism:
    You have many varieties of cows. You demand subsidised fodder from the government for your cows. Then the subsidised fodder meant for your cows is eaten by hungry ministers. You go on hunger strike along with your cows. No Justice, you die your cows die.

  9. Indian Capitalism: You have two cows and both of them are Holy-Cow.


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