Why The Longer You’ve Been Single, The Better You’ll Be In A Relationship

SHARE:

Why The Longer You’ve Been Single, The Better You’ll Be In A Relationship

Relationships are high-stakes these days.

I haven’t looked into the numbers, but considering how many relationships the average person has in a lifetime (not counting one-night stands, booty calls and friends with benefits), the probability that things will work out is between 10 and 15 percent. It’s probably even less if you factor in the marriages that are failing or very unhappy.

Why are relationships so hard? And why do we enter them if they’re so doomed?

Relationships might have such trouble because people tend to learn by trial and error. We aren’t sure what works, so we’ll date anyone who catches our interest in order to narrow our preferences.

But there has to be more to it than that. Certainly, many happy relationships — ones that should have worked — failed. Maybe the people in them just couldn’t get it together.

Most people would say that “the timing was off.” Oh, timing… you impossible little bastard.

But wanting a relationship isn’t the same as being ready for one. Sometimes we aren’t emotionally ready to date. Dating after heartbreak, for example, is always difficult.

People believe a relationship should work if both people are in a healthy emotional place in their lives.

And this does make it more doable. But being emotionally ready for a relationship isn’t necessarily the same as being mentally ready for it.

One of the main reasons people break up is they’re not mentally prepared. They don’t yet fully understand what it is they want and need, nor are they ready to make the necessary sacrifices. You could say they’re not mature enough.

How could people prepare to make necessary sacrifices if they don’t even know what they’re sacrificing in the first place? Or, what’s worse, they don’t know what it means to compromise?

There’s really only one way to mentally prepare yourself for becoming a single, functioning, loving unit: You have to know yourself on a deep and intimate level.

Yes, you need to get intimate with yourself. Keep in mind that requires you to spend a lot of time with yourself and no one else. It requires alone time.

And the longer you’re single, the better the partner you’ll be in the future.

You need to get to know yourself.


We spend so much time putting on facades for others. We pretend to be people we’re not. And when we try too hard to fit in, we lose ourselves — often without realizing it.

We all change with time, but we don’t always grow with time. Sometimes we take a couple of steps backward; we regress and turn into our younger, more immature selves.

It happens. It’s okay. The day is not yet over, and you can choose to get yourself back on track.

Once you take some time to be alone and explore who you are — keeping in mind the person you want to be — you’ll get to know yourself again.

You’ll come to realize what’s most important to you. You’ll also learn what’s trivial and disposable in your life.

Don’t expect this to be easy. I know it may sound easy, but it’s more difficult than you’d think. Old habits often refuse to die, and being alone is the only way to get enough breathing room to do what needs to be done.

You need to be okay with being alone. You have to accept that you are enough.


I understand you want someone in your life. I understand you don’t want to feel alone.

I don’t either, and neither does anyone walking this planet.

But you should be happy when you’re by yourself. Your happiness, focus and hunger for life can’t depend on somebody else. I understand that, on some level, this is impossible; most of us gain happiness from having a partner. But you can’t allow someone’s absence to define your life.

You can’t look at a life with someone else as better than your life now. Because if that life is better, then the one you’re living now must be worse. Right?

But it’s not. It isn’t a bad life. It’s simply different, and you need to learn to be okay with something different.

Too many people use relationships like Band-Aids, but the blood always seeps through.


We’re all a bit bruised, a bit scarred and jaded. Some days are certainly going to be darker. But at the end of the day, your happiness is truly a choice. And a relationship isn’t going to “fix” you.

You choose how you perceive the world. If you realize this and continue to see the world the way you do now, that’s on you. But if you force yourself to change, you can. (Keep in mind: I said “force”!)

If you change your reality, you’ll be happy with your life. You’ll be happy with yourself and how you can control your life. And you’ll have something that too many of us lose — hope.

Getting into a relationship before you’re emotionally and mentally prepared reduces the chances it will work out.

How can someone else love you when the “you” isn’t your true self? How can you be fully loved when you don’t know what love is?

The longer you’re single — the longer you pause to understand yourself and to create your life with your mind’s paintbrush — the more likely your next relationship will be the last one you’ll ever need.

by Paul Hudson

Source: Elite Daily via Idealist4ever

Related:

COMMENTS

BLOGGER: 2
  1. My name is Melissa Vivian,I base in USA,Texas..My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Agu, which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Sonia,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Agu's e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr Agu, is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Try High Agulovespell@hotmail.com anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. Here's his contact: Agulovespell@hotmail.com You can also call him or text him here: +2348108737816.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Effective powerful love spell to get your Ex lover back urgently after breakup/divorce!.
    Hi everyone,
    I'm so excited. My ex-boyfriend is back after a breakup, I’m extremely happy that will are living together again.
    My boyfriend of a 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant. I have cried myself to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again. Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes, my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time. Generally he is a very nice guy, he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along. He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change. I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with. I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe. He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy, he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy. i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Azeez can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 17 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Azeez if you have any problem contact Dr Azeez now and i guarantee you that he will help you. Here’s his contact.
    Email him at: Azeezabdulahi12@gmail.com
    call/add him on what’s-app: +2348160153829

    ReplyDelete

Name

Activism,1307,Art,791,BLM,22,Consciousness,1545,CoVid-19,154,Cures,227,Do it Yourself,112,Documentaries,72,Environment,1478,Fiction,2,Health,765,History,464,Human Intelligence,554,Inspirations,2,Inspiring Stories,4179,Justice,536,Mental Health,16,News,1411,Nutrition,218,Philosophy,309,Photography,1590,Quantum Physics,29,Quizzes & Tests,145,Quotes,113,Relationships,781,Science,1145,Self Improvement,838,Spirituality,248,Sustainability,246,Technology,477,Truth,755,
ltr
item
Thinking Humanity: Why The Longer You’ve Been Single, The Better You’ll Be In A Relationship
Why The Longer You’ve Been Single, The Better You’ll Be In A Relationship
Relationships are high-stakes these days.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG06ky50gT7nBHsVjKPR0DWRT6CMWAl72a86iKb1L4bvt8iX2mkVAK0kryG6BAZ_uLKTDEzyaJrHwAmPSM_qISHng0gqQ5901TlhK9EJyb-9-yB5S07cvFc4-U_ajWO-Wv_CAbsdbWXaHW/s1600/Why+The+Longer+You%25E2%2580%2599ve+Been+Single%252C+The+Better+You%25E2%2580%2599ll+Be+In+A+Relationship.jpg
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG06ky50gT7nBHsVjKPR0DWRT6CMWAl72a86iKb1L4bvt8iX2mkVAK0kryG6BAZ_uLKTDEzyaJrHwAmPSM_qISHng0gqQ5901TlhK9EJyb-9-yB5S07cvFc4-U_ajWO-Wv_CAbsdbWXaHW/s72-c/Why+The+Longer+You%25E2%2580%2599ve+Been+Single%252C+The+Better+You%25E2%2580%2599ll+Be+In+A+Relationship.jpg
Thinking Humanity
https://www.thinkinghumanity.com/2016/02/why-the-longer-youve-been-single-the-better-youll-be-in-a-relationship.html
https://www.thinkinghumanity.com/
https://www.thinkinghumanity.com/
https://www.thinkinghumanity.com/2016/02/why-the-longer-youve-been-single-the-better-youll-be-in-a-relationship.html
true
7064777598104498166
UTF-8
Loaded All Posts Not found any posts VIEW ALL Readmore Reply Cancel reply Delete By Home PAGES POSTS View All RECOMMENDED FOR YOU LABEL ARCHIVE SEARCH ALL POSTS Not found any post match with your request Back Home Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat January February March April May June July August September October November December Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec just now 1 minute ago $$1$$ minutes ago 1 hour ago $$1$$ hours ago Yesterday $$1$$ days ago $$1$$ weeks ago more than 5 weeks ago Followers Follow THIS PREMIUM CONTENT IS LOCKED STEP 1: Share to a social network STEP 2: Click the link on your social network Copy All Code Select All Code All codes were copied to your clipboard Can not copy the codes / texts, please press [CTRL]+[C] (or CMD+C with Mac) to copy